Saturday, September 23, 2017

Perfectly in Control

"Boy! Today is at a whole new level of "What is happening?!"  I do not have it all together.  At all.  I don't know where my car keys are!!  I borrowed my landlord's vehicle to get to work but don't have my ID (it's in my car) so can't log on to the computer.  Ugh.  It's just so self-defeating.  Like why don't I have it together?!"

I texted all the above to a good friend one day.  Then in the next few days, I personally dug a little deeper.

My devotional app series was pointing towards a little lesson to learn, which  coincided with my external circumstances (i.e. the above of losing my car keys).  It's funny how the little things can stop and make you think.  It's also probably very good so that God doesn't have to use a big thing get my attention but only on occasion.

Life events lately have enabled me to see, yet again, that I am not perfect, I am not in control.  And I need help.  

It's not like it's fun.  It is necessary, however.  I get so wrapped up and distracted with what I'm doing during the day, how I feel (whether good or bad), or what I have to do the next day that I don't pay much attention to God.  I don't let him take off some of the burden, all of the burden.  But He promises to do so.

The fact donned on me that this reflects me having to daily pick up my cross and follow Him.  It is a daily dying to oneself and looking to God instead, not just a once a week thing or once-in-a-lifetime thing.

I was reassured that God is in control, and that I am most definitely not perfect and don't have it all together all the time.  And still, it will be okay.  

I just like how life lessons coincide with different Scriptures or devotionals that I read.  This actually happens a lot when I think about it!  For instance, I'm going through a mini devotional series on hymns and the one I read the day after losing my keys was about "It is Well with My Soul."  Now, this hymn was written in a much dire situation, so I know life will be just fine after losing just some car keys!  Yet, I know that God cares about the little things and will gently show me what I need to learn. 

I still like to speculate that something is wrong with me (like maybe I have another sinus infection and it's messing with my head!) because I've been so forgetful lately.  Might be legitimate, might be an excuse.  Nonetheless, I am reminded to rely on God; that though I'm not perfect right now on earth, He sent his perfect Son to die for me so that I could be perfect and blameless when I come before Him; and that I can relax since he is in control and has the plan and won't let me go astray.