Hear ye, hear ye: No one has ALL of life figured out at any given time. Certain aspects of life, sure. But definitely not everything. And it’s okay.
Now someone might be good at faking it, but it won’t take long to see that they don’t have a clue. I know my facial expressions alone would give me away! Granted, I strive to be open and honest so I feel someone would find out in a real jiffy that I don’t have my life all put together, each sphere of life nicely tucked into a little box with a pretty bow on top just elegantly resting on a shelf waiting to be pulled down when needed. Of course, I strive for that but it seems at times as though each sphere of life is in one big, ugly cardboard box trying to be held together with duct tape all around before the bottom gives way. However, whether I’m feeling all put together or about to fall apart, I know without a doubt that I have Christ to help. My friends and family are added bonuses!
Although this post will focus on the career aspect of life, since I posed the question to a friend and I’m also dealing with this currently, there are obviously more unknowns in life than just those centered around one’s career. I think they’re all integrated with one another and hinge on one very important decision, but I’ll let you connect the dots.
So, since there is no one-size fits all, mathematical equation, fool-proof plan, or step-by-step instructions for figuring out what to do in life, breathe. Maybe think of this “finding out what to do in life” as a joy to be shared with others along the way, not a sense of directionless-ness or source of anxiety. (I am most definitely preaching to myself here, to be sure!) Because really, there are a plethora of options for finding one’s way in or to a career. I know I’ve done several and am still learning!
With everyone being unique and having different gifts, passions, interests, etc. that make them who they are, I’d posit one just needs to sift through those options and/or combine them to get to the core of what to focus on and pursue. This can be done and in a variety of fun ways, yes fun. It will cost time and thought, but it will be worth it!
I can recommend books like “The Purpose Driven Life,” “101 Secrets for Your Twenties,” “TwentySomeone,” and “Getting from College to Career.” I can present some strategies that I’ve used and still others I’ve gathered from people sharing what helped navigate life’s waters. I can only do so little, in my opinion, when I really want for you to seek truth and have faith, to know and trust Christ. Remember that, if nothing else from this post.
Here are some of those strategies, in no particular order:
1) Get to know yourself
There are tons of tests out there from finding your strengths and weaknesses to determining your love language (how you give and receive love) to whether or not you lean most towards introversion or extroversion. They’re fun and enlightening. Still, there are others more specific to finding to your management style and what career field fits your interests and personality. Google it, right?
Some additional ways to get to know yourself would be to spend time alone, spend time with others (especially if they don’t think or act like you), and simply ask family and close friends as described in #3.
2) Make a list (or two or three)
I like lists! I like them so much I wrote a blog about it, and I made one super duper list a long time ago. When I was switching my major, I did the only thing I could think to do. I made a list of my likes, loves, and dislikes. I then gave it to my academic advisor, feeling very exposed. In all her years she hadn’t had anyone do that, she said. (Ironically, not the first time that’s come out of someone’s mouth about me or what I’m doing… hmm.) She looked it over and nicely stated to go business or health. I took classes in both the next semester and chose health about halfway through. I never looked back! Best decision. And I still have that list.
3) Ask others who know you for their opinion and observations
One day, I was thinking about family members and friends and decided to write 10 words to describe each of them. Just 10 single, simple words. I loved it! It made me really think about each person, their character and values, and what I appreciated about them. It brought back good memories, too. For some, I gave them those words as encouragement. Just 10 single words. I think they loved it! ;)
Today, I have 10 words for another friend, who I’m 99% positive will read this post. Haha! However, for examples sake, I want to give 5 with descriptions as to the why.
Unique --- might be cliché but this friend made a unique statement I’d never heard. We were talking about travel and he mentioned he wouldn’t want to go somewhere where he was over someone else, kinda like lording over them or standing out, if memory serves. I need to and should have asked him to explain, but it seems fitting to me that he is being conscious of how he views and treats others, in that he is no better than them.
Passionate --- my friend mentioned someone once and his eyes lit up! He was describing everything he did for them and that his brain was on go, in a very good way. He wished he could have done more. Bingo. This is what you should pursue, in my little opinion.
Incorrigible --- the meaning is “firmly fixed, not easily changed.” This is both good and bad. Good because my friend can stick to his guns; bad because he will stick to his guns! Ugh! That can be frustrating at times, mainly when I see or want something my way. A good example is when I was “helping” him but really blabbing away with him likely thinking I’m not going to shut up. Anywho, at one point I said rather indignantly, “Well, I’m going to do this instead.” and can you guess what he said so matter of fact and without skipping a beat?! “No, you’re not!” All I could fathom was, “Whaaaat?!” But you know what? I didn’t do it. He knows what he’s doing and ya gotta respect that. Besides that, he is only one of two guys who’ve said something of this nature to me, Little Miss Stubborn. So, it really is and was for my good.
Warm --- because, when others catch my friend smiling or laughing, they make mention of it. In addition, he gives off an air that no one is a burden to him, even if they talk his ear off.
Helpful --- generic, perhaps, but fitting. I’ve bothered him with many questions about his work world in order to learn for my own betterment or curb my curiosity. Let’s be real. He graciously answers all my questions and gives me food for thought as well.
All the above is true and positive, though I’d challenge anyone to not be afraid of constructive criticism (or negative words) as they can be beneficial to identify things to work on. Hopefully they are given in love. I’ve had several such encounters and feel growth happens after I digest the words. The point being that others see things in you, both good and bad, that you may not.
4) Map it out
I literally took a map of the US one day and began to put x’s through states I absolutely would not live in, stars on the ones I most definitely would live in, and circles around the ones I could potentially see myself living in. There was no hard-core research involved. Shocking, I know. I just wanted to narrow down my job search to a few states. I ended up with 3 and was not being successful in landing a job, so I thought I was possibly limiting God and went back to the map. I included 2 more states that I had marked as “maybes” and, in what seemed like no time at all, I found a job in the originally circled state of Texas. Now that I’m here and like it so much, I could see myself staying for a good long while, which is kinda crazy to me actually. However, I’m still open to not calling Texas home. Keep reading to #8 below.
5) Go with what you know (and what you’re excited about)
This is definitely cliché. Yet, it works. Looking back, it makes sense as to why I’m a Dietitian. My upbringing has influenced it along with past jobs and experiences. Even now, I see commonalities in seemingly diverse jobs. For instance, I’ve picked up that I want to work with a motivated population and coworkers I enjoy and respect, I want others to appreciate my services, and I want to help people reach their health goals. Beyond that, I’ve noticed I adapt to change quickly, am cool in stressful situations, and need a strong boss to lead. Looking forward, I think I can make decisions slightly better just knowing that I’m in the right profession. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve looked at other lines of work and have thought about going back to school. It just hasn’t worked out, for a reason. Not that I don’t think I’d be good at them, per say, but the passion just isn’t there or isn’t all there. What has come up on the horizon that I’m super stoked about is the possibility of going hard after the goal of becoming a Sports Dietitian. I excitedly submitted my application for a fellowship yesterday, so we’ll see!
6) Keep things on the back burner
My back burner is like my little dream station :) I have all these ideas and plans, waiting to be turned into a reality. They have to do with places I want to see (i.e. trips I’m planning), my bucket list, what I could do with my hobbies, and more. Truth be told, some will come about while others will remain to simmer on the stove. No worries. I like to imagine I have an industrial stove with at least 10 burners, so I’ve got plenty of dreams to keep me occupied, haha! Maybe you have the standard 4 burner stove. It doesn’t matter. What matters, I think, is that you must have them on, because a thought or idea builds into a dream and then becomes a reality one day. And those are some great days.
Some ideas that are on my back burners are things that pop into my head but I’m not at a place in life to truly accomplish it. For instance, I half-joking and half-dead serious tell my bestie on occasion that we should open a bakery. I can just picture it in all its adorableness :) …we’re both not ready yet. Back burner. I’ve also half-joking and half-dead serious (are you sensing a theme here?) told my fitness instructor guy (FIG) that we should get our own gym. Once I put studying business 101 on him, things went downhill. Although, FIG did explicitly say that he wasn’t ready for a gym at this point in life. I can’t argue with that, especially when one shows some wisdom in knowing that it’s not the right time. Naturally, it’s on the back burner for me.
7) Write it out
Obviously, I don’t mind writing too terribly much. (This was not my mentality while writing my thesis, lemme tell ya!) And this post might be my longest yet even! There’s just something therapeutic about getting your thoughts out on paper or seeing them be typed out. Try it.
I was once challenged by a friend to write out a life/career mission statement. I thought it a bit silly but did it to humor my friend. Guess what? It was quite helpful. Honest to goodness, I don’t remember every word I wrote and I know my mission has changed ever so slightly as I progress as a professional, but I will not forget I wrote that I wanted to work with adults. I wrote it without even thinking, yet after reading my statement aloud when I had finished, it made complete sense. This one fact has enabled me to say no to certain jobs because it may deal solely with children or, rather, it’s helped cut out a lot of unnecessary sifting through options.
8) Be precise but also open
Knowing a specific population to work with, as mentioned above, is great. Thus, I’ve determined things I don’t want as much as things I do. It’s saved me time, money, thought, etc. This doesn’t mean I don’t waffle or that I’m completely closed off to possibilities, though. I still weigh options that come my way but I have a filter to put them through, you know?
Still, I need to be and should be open to something outside my preconceived plans due to the fact that what is currently unknown will eventually happen. Things like finding a “dream” job, relationship status change, family dynamics, personal circumstances, and the list goes on. I’ll need to be able to adapt and to be flexible. I mean, maybe I’ll go on my next work assignment and there will be a guy I like who will want me to stay, I’ll find a job I like, and I’ll be able to convince my family and close friends to move super close!! …I suppose I’ll take just one of those things and be open to what might actually happen instead, ha!
9) Red light, green light
My mentality is that I’m going to go after something I want until there’s an obvious no. I think of a red light meaning “stop” or a closed door meaning “it ain’t gonna happen!” On the flip side, I think of a green light as meaning “go” or an open door meaning “keep coming, this is it!” I’ve seen this with career stuff when I was at a crossroads. I had a lot of choices on what to do, so I flirted with them all until they dropped off one by one. Only one remained, so it was crystal clear that I should be a travel RD. And I’ve seen why God directed me to do it what with all the people I’ve met and the things I’ve learned! Which brings me to the notion that I don’t think there are failings in life. Traveling for work is a bit scary but I would have regretted not trying it. I’m doing it and know I don’t want to do it for forever but I didn’t fail. Even if I had only done one assignment, it still wouldn’t have be a failure in my book. Maybe I would have just learned traveling like that wasn’t for me or I can’t call another place home or it didn’t meet my expectations or whatever. I would have learned at least one thing, so not a failure. Besides, you don’t know what you don’t know. Think about that.
10) Put on your hiking boots
Take this journey called life “one day at a time.” This is cliché, I know. It’s still one of my two new year’s resolutions. It is simple yet hard. Life is messy with mud holes and trenches at times, and life is pure bliss with rainbows and butterflies at other times. I have no idea what could happen! So, I’m going to give myself time, grace, and room to grow. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? Mine and yours best life won’t be either.
In the end, only you have the final say on what you do with your life and how you do it or find it. For me, I believe life’s ultimate purpose is to glorify God and love Him forever. I know I can do this is by using the gifts, passions, and desires He has so graciously bestowed on me. Some of which I don’t even fully know, some of which I need to strengthen by using them more often, and some of which are being developed with time and love. It is not chance, however, as to what I do and how I do it. Everything is for that ultimate purpose.
Life and all it holds is the grandest adventure I’ll ever take! I can’t wait to see it unfold, and I will most definitely try to pull people in for the ride!
