Sometimes in life, I don’t want so many choices. It’s good to have options …at least that’s what I hear. Lately though, I need less. A sign clearly telling me to DO THIS wouldn’t hurt either.
Seriously! I know I can’t make a “bad” choice. Choosing between moving to another city, moving to another state, moving for a job to get my foot in the door, searching for a job I’m excited about, going back to school, etc. are good things. Still, too many choices, despite making some cuts, without having super clear direction is annoying.
It’s just me and God. It’s not like I have someone else to take some choices away, like it would be easier to stay somewhere if there was a guy to make it worth-while. It’s not like I have a spectacular job waiting for me to make me stay in one place, like it would be easier to stay if there was that kind of job. However, it’s not like I’m having to choose between having a pizza or a burger, as if one is better than the other. Those are both good choices – I’m literally thinking of the Mediterranean pizza from Papa Murphy’s and the Chaca Oaxaca burger from Rodeo Goat. I can eat either in record time, most definitely the burger. No joke.
Recently the thought that, at times, life can feel like The Price is Right flashed across my mind. Don’t ask about my thought process, just think about it. I want to know what the heck to do with my life to be lit up like the product when you’re within the correct amount of the price. I don’t want to feel anxious or like it’s random to get the jackpot after ping-ponging down the pegs as the token does in Plinko -- though, for whatever reason, that is one of my most favorite games. I want to hear “a new car!” but also, it wouldn’t bother me one bit to hear “a dream job!” or “a dream guy!” I want to spin the giant wheel and get the dollar because the dollar means I got it “right” and, of course, I’m going to the Showcase. I want my name to be called so I can run down the aisle in sheer joy to the next adventure, hopefully filled with wonderful prizes.
Maybe that’s why it’s a game for tv… It’s not real life and only a few actually get to play the game.
News flash: Life is not a game.
Life is full of choices and they are all ways to help me grow, learn, and be dependent on God. Life isn’t a straight path but, rather, one with turns and rough terrain, which ultimately get me to the destination.
Once I wished I could see where I’d be in 1, 3, or 5 years, just to see what I was doing career-wise, see if I were dating/married, see where my friends and family were, see where in the world I was, etc. Then I decided quickly there after that I wouldn’t want to know, because then I’d be wishing those 1, 3, or 5 years away so that I could be where I saw myself. I’d miss everything in the meantime. And who knows what would be missed!
No, I want to be fully present in the present. Thus, my only new year’s resolution (because I think they’re silly) is to take things one day at a time. Simple, possibly cliché, but hard.
I still plan trips (duh!) and have forward thinking, of course. But, with my current time off, I have a daily to-do list to help myself out. Even still, some of these upcoming days will simply be to help my friend out and I have no idea what she’ll need me to do, honestly! Life is still a mystery, and I’m trying to enjoy it.
Furthermore, to do so, I’ve reminded myself of what I want to do and should do, such as pray. For instance, I tell friends, “I should pray.” It’s true and sort of self-talk while also being a reminder for myself as much as it is an encouragement and/or challenge to the friend to do it as well. I mean, praying is just talking to God, of which I need to do daily because He has answers.
The answer isn’t a game in The Price is Right and it’s usually not a DO THIS sign, but it is a feeling of peace, contentment, rest… knowing He has a plan, knowing He is most glorified when I am most satisfied in Him, knowing He knows what I desire yet what I need, knowing He is faithful, knowing He can and will strengthen my unbelief, knowing I can delight myself in God, knowing He is enough, knowing I can trust Him, and more.
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