It happens to us all. The awkward goodbye. I'm cringing now.
Most seem to happen in a potential romantic scene but some don't. Eeps! Thankfully, I haven't encountered such awkwardness in a good while, and, surely, most of it is in my head. Yes, I will keep believing that. I mean...
I either think of a zillion things to say but nothing comes out or think of absolutely nothing to say and then most definitely nothing comes out
OR
I say something okay (and halfway normal) in the moment but then think of something later and wish I had thought of it sooner or wish that I could have thought of something well beforehand to write down and give the person
OR
I have that super awkward moment when I don't want to have another date or want to get out of the one I'm in or, worse, the tables are turned and I'm the one making things awkward
Cases in point:
1.
Guy: Well, at least give me a hug!
Me: *get as small as possible and as far away as possible, basically shoulder tapping him* Bye! (forever)
2.
Guy: See ya later!
Me: *internal dialouge: Should I just say see ya later, too? Or say, see ya in a few days... weeks...? Wait, when will I see him again?* Okay!!
3.
Guy: Uh, I gotta go...
Me: Have you ever been to England?? I studied abroad there and loved it! It was so much fun! Met a lot of people, saw a lot of sites, blah, blah, blah...
Guy: Uh, I gotta go.
4.
Guy: I had a really great time. We should do this again.
Me: Yeah! *Oh, man. I should have said, "yeah, let's go out again" or at something more than just "yeah"!! Wow. Fail.*
5.
Guy: It was good talking to you!
Me: Yeah, I'll probably talk to you again in a few months! Have a good life!
Those all actually happened. Yeah, I know...
Sometimes I'm just in a mood and try to be funny, but it doesn't always work out so hot. Sometimes I feel like I'm just awkward. Let's be real.
I typically do better when there's no pressure, when I have no idea if the guy likes me (or if I really like him for that matter!), if I know nothing romantic is going to happen, or if I'm in a group. I do much better with girlfriends or good guy friends, usually because they know me and usually because I know I will actually see them again.
I have to say more SD goodbyes tomorrow (yes, more like "see ya later" but still). Surely they won't be so terrible. It's not like it's a break-up or bad first date or anything! It will be bittersweet, for sure. ...Hate to go but looking forward to being home for an extended period of time kinda thing.
Besides, I've already written out a little something for everyone :)
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Wants
"I hope you find everything you want" was said to me the night before leaving for SD. I didn't forget but I didn't have a clue how it would unfold.
I did find what I want.
I want a boss who pushes me, mentors me, is knowledgeable and approachable, critiques me, has fun, supports me, and allows me to flourish. I want co-workers who support me, make me laugh, love me for being me, ask for advice, problem solve with me, encourage me, keep complaining to a minimum, and let me into their lives outside of work. I want to live in a city that is thriving, offers activities galore to do, is close to family and good friends, has good running routes, is bike-friendly, and provides a solid community.
So, now that I'm a week away from leaving SD (and it will possibly be a hard week), it's very bittersweet because SD did give me all the above minus being close to family and some of my best friends. More than that, though, it didn't offer the crucial long-term, full-time job. And that's okay.
I realized that I love SD and have loved my time here. I found that most everyone fell in love with me ;) I mean, I had someone just today say they're going to miss me when I'm gone and others have stated they don't want me to go basically since week 1! I made forever friends and will try to visit whenever I can. But it's not home.
Home is in Texas. It's my homebase for stability in order to not become a complete nomad and for the fact that I really do like FW and all that it holds for me. It's definitely home right now because my family and some super close friends are so near. And I'm looking forward to a good amount of time there before the next assignment I do or the next adventure that comes my way.
It's just that I want a lot of things, as you can see, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I just don't know how feasible it is to get them all in one place. I mean, I've lived in Texas for 2 years and have grown to like the city, hate the allergies I've acquired, love the friends I've made, love seeing my brother weekly, and cherish seeing my best friend (and, consequently, my alma mater) on a monthly basis. However, I also grew to not like my full-time job that much, found it hard to meet the "right" guy, and became disconnected from community. Those things are important, especially since I spend half my time at work and then the other half, it seems, doing stuff with friends.
My bestie said, "My opinion on traveling is that it is wonderful and exciting but not as your life. I think God has so much richness planned for us in being part of a Christian community and in faithfully investing in lost people, perhaps for years, without possibly seeing the fruits of it. That's really hard to do without establishing roots. I think about the beginning of Jeremiah 29, where His people are exiles in a land but he commands them to intentionally do life there. Having great experiences in travel, I think, cannot possibly compare with having Christ!"
Yes, traveling is wonderful and exciting but not for life. It will end at some point because... Yes, taking root somewhere and being a part of a solid community is a good thing. It will surely happen again, probably and hopefully in FW.
As I've said before, the reality is that I'm still looking for everything I want: the RD job I want, the boss and coworkers I want, the next adventure I want to take, the guy I want to share life with, the place I want to call home that's close to family and good friends. Maybe it will all come together one day. Maybe it won't. I will still choose to be faithful and positive and to believe God has the best for me.
I did find what I want.
I want a boss who pushes me, mentors me, is knowledgeable and approachable, critiques me, has fun, supports me, and allows me to flourish. I want co-workers who support me, make me laugh, love me for being me, ask for advice, problem solve with me, encourage me, keep complaining to a minimum, and let me into their lives outside of work. I want to live in a city that is thriving, offers activities galore to do, is close to family and good friends, has good running routes, is bike-friendly, and provides a solid community.
So, now that I'm a week away from leaving SD (and it will possibly be a hard week), it's very bittersweet because SD did give me all the above minus being close to family and some of my best friends. More than that, though, it didn't offer the crucial long-term, full-time job. And that's okay.
I realized that I love SD and have loved my time here. I found that most everyone fell in love with me ;) I mean, I had someone just today say they're going to miss me when I'm gone and others have stated they don't want me to go basically since week 1! I made forever friends and will try to visit whenever I can. But it's not home.
Home is in Texas. It's my homebase for stability in order to not become a complete nomad and for the fact that I really do like FW and all that it holds for me. It's definitely home right now because my family and some super close friends are so near. And I'm looking forward to a good amount of time there before the next assignment I do or the next adventure that comes my way.
It's just that I want a lot of things, as you can see, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I just don't know how feasible it is to get them all in one place. I mean, I've lived in Texas for 2 years and have grown to like the city, hate the allergies I've acquired, love the friends I've made, love seeing my brother weekly, and cherish seeing my best friend (and, consequently, my alma mater) on a monthly basis. However, I also grew to not like my full-time job that much, found it hard to meet the "right" guy, and became disconnected from community. Those things are important, especially since I spend half my time at work and then the other half, it seems, doing stuff with friends.
My bestie said, "My opinion on traveling is that it is wonderful and exciting but not as your life. I think God has so much richness planned for us in being part of a Christian community and in faithfully investing in lost people, perhaps for years, without possibly seeing the fruits of it. That's really hard to do without establishing roots. I think about the beginning of Jeremiah 29, where His people are exiles in a land but he commands them to intentionally do life there. Having great experiences in travel, I think, cannot possibly compare with having Christ!"
Yes, traveling is wonderful and exciting but not for life. It will end at some point because... Yes, taking root somewhere and being a part of a solid community is a good thing. It will surely happen again, probably and hopefully in FW.
As I've said before, the reality is that I'm still looking for everything I want: the RD job I want, the boss and coworkers I want, the next adventure I want to take, the guy I want to share life with, the place I want to call home that's close to family and good friends. Maybe it will all come together one day. Maybe it won't. I will still choose to be faithful and positive and to believe God has the best for me.
Monday, August 8, 2016
25 Fun Facts
A friend was recently applying for Grad schools and one of the schools asked him not for a conventional essay but, rather, a list of 25 things about himself. Cool.
Such a list could offer more tidbits about oneself to open one's eyes to the vast attributes, talents, life experiences, passions, or dreams of the individual and open the door to wanting to know more versus the individual just being able to convey a smaller piece of oneself that the traditional essay allows.
Even still, I was talking to another friend who said he gets to read some of those conventional, as in "please choose me for this scholarship so I can go to college" type essays. As he told me some of the essays he's read, I was struck by the amazing lives people have lived and some of the incredible struggles they've overcome. It's awesome that he gets to read them. No wonder he likes his job.
Thankfully,` I will not be going back to school unless I so choose. However, I'm stoked for my friend as he pursues another career, and I went ahead and took a crack at that list, seeing if I, too, would need to make cuts.
1) Everyone has a God-given purpose -- to love and glorify God -- and I try to live life in all that I say and do to this end.
2) I lost my oldest brother when I was 17 and have been changed for the better ever since by being empathetic, not taking life for granted, and seeing God's goodness despite the pain.
3) I look up to my other big brother and cherish our times together.
4) The best moment in my life was accepting Christ, while the second best moment was listening as my friend gave her life to Christ.
5) According to a recently taken strength-finder test, my top 5 strengths, in order, are integrity, strategic planning, optimism, innovation, and faith.
6) As I grow older, I love and respect my parents more for the choices and sacrifices they made for me and my brothers -- private schooling, making church a priority, running us around to various events, helping pay for college, taking annual vacations, etc. I plan to do the same if I ever have children.
7) I gained one of my very best friends by running marathons.
8) A favorite trip I was able to go on was a medical trip to India because of the gratitude expressed by the locals, my lovely and hard-working team members, being able to learn a new profession from a very patient and loving Dentist, and seeing God's many blessings.
9) My first car was a red Mazda Miata. It was such a fun ride and I bought it all by my lonesome.
10) I would constantly contest points for the A I thought I had made in high school (and even in college). Bless one of my favorite teacher's heart, Mr. Tracy! I usually won and ended up reaching my goal of being Valedictorian.
11) Some words I've heard over and over by others to describe me would be diligent, fun, sweet, beautiful, intimidating, competitive, smart, and genuine.
12) I LOVE to travel! It's so enticing that I once applied to be a flight attendant and even made it to the end stage.
13) The ah-hah moment that I knew I wanted to become a Dietitian (RD) was when my teacher said she helped a man nutritionally get well and get out of the hospital. Nutrition truly is a passion of mine, and I want to help others get well nutritionally, too.
14) My most favorite professor is Dr. Knehans -- a friend, mentor, former thesis chair, and stand-out person.
15) I constantly have music on, it seems. I love it so much that I decided to fly to Sweden for a favorite band's concert that I couldn't yet get a ticket for... I made the show and traveled around Scandinavia and even saw another concert during the trip.
16) I was an RA in college. Best. Job. Ever.
17) One of the best summers of my life was working as a camp counselor in Maryland.
18) Another "best summer" was my first travel RD assignment in South Dakota because of the work environment that helped me grow so much professionally, all the friends I made, all the hikes I went on, and all the national parks and monuments I visited.
19) My favorite subject in high school was math; I graduated from my favorite subject in college, which was Health and Exercise Science.
20) I have 5 kids that are very dear to me: my best friend's two little girls, my nephew, and the two kids I sponsor.
21) Boomer Sooner. Go OU. Always.
22) I have several nicknames, from Heartbreaker to Muffin, but one of my favorites will never be spoken again or known except by family because it was given to me by my deceased brother.
23) Some of my biggest struggles are with body image and self-confidence that goes with it and with being alone.
24) I am not ashamed to say that I love swim aerobics and would go to class with my grandparents.
25) I joined the Army Reserves 2 years ago for many reasons, but, in the end, it doesn't matter; It really is an honor to serve.
It was really challenging to get it down to only 25! Even thought about making two lists -- one for growing up until high school and the other from college to present. Nonetheless, I'm sure you learned something new about me! However, we all are unique and have a story to tell or facts as it may be. :) Share yours!
Such a list could offer more tidbits about oneself to open one's eyes to the vast attributes, talents, life experiences, passions, or dreams of the individual and open the door to wanting to know more versus the individual just being able to convey a smaller piece of oneself that the traditional essay allows.
Even still, I was talking to another friend who said he gets to read some of those conventional, as in "please choose me for this scholarship so I can go to college" type essays. As he told me some of the essays he's read, I was struck by the amazing lives people have lived and some of the incredible struggles they've overcome. It's awesome that he gets to read them. No wonder he likes his job.
Thankfully,` I will not be going back to school unless I so choose. However, I'm stoked for my friend as he pursues another career, and I went ahead and took a crack at that list, seeing if I, too, would need to make cuts.
1) Everyone has a God-given purpose -- to love and glorify God -- and I try to live life in all that I say and do to this end.
2) I lost my oldest brother when I was 17 and have been changed for the better ever since by being empathetic, not taking life for granted, and seeing God's goodness despite the pain.
3) I look up to my other big brother and cherish our times together.
4) The best moment in my life was accepting Christ, while the second best moment was listening as my friend gave her life to Christ.
5) According to a recently taken strength-finder test, my top 5 strengths, in order, are integrity, strategic planning, optimism, innovation, and faith.
6) As I grow older, I love and respect my parents more for the choices and sacrifices they made for me and my brothers -- private schooling, making church a priority, running us around to various events, helping pay for college, taking annual vacations, etc. I plan to do the same if I ever have children.
7) I gained one of my very best friends by running marathons.
8) A favorite trip I was able to go on was a medical trip to India because of the gratitude expressed by the locals, my lovely and hard-working team members, being able to learn a new profession from a very patient and loving Dentist, and seeing God's many blessings.
9) My first car was a red Mazda Miata. It was such a fun ride and I bought it all by my lonesome.
10) I would constantly contest points for the A I thought I had made in high school (and even in college). Bless one of my favorite teacher's heart, Mr. Tracy! I usually won and ended up reaching my goal of being Valedictorian.
11) Some words I've heard over and over by others to describe me would be diligent, fun, sweet, beautiful, intimidating, competitive, smart, and genuine.
12) I LOVE to travel! It's so enticing that I once applied to be a flight attendant and even made it to the end stage.
13) The ah-hah moment that I knew I wanted to become a Dietitian (RD) was when my teacher said she helped a man nutritionally get well and get out of the hospital. Nutrition truly is a passion of mine, and I want to help others get well nutritionally, too.
14) My most favorite professor is Dr. Knehans -- a friend, mentor, former thesis chair, and stand-out person.
15) I constantly have music on, it seems. I love it so much that I decided to fly to Sweden for a favorite band's concert that I couldn't yet get a ticket for... I made the show and traveled around Scandinavia and even saw another concert during the trip.
16) I was an RA in college. Best. Job. Ever.
17) One of the best summers of my life was working as a camp counselor in Maryland.
18) Another "best summer" was my first travel RD assignment in South Dakota because of the work environment that helped me grow so much professionally, all the friends I made, all the hikes I went on, and all the national parks and monuments I visited.
19) My favorite subject in high school was math; I graduated from my favorite subject in college, which was Health and Exercise Science.
20) I have 5 kids that are very dear to me: my best friend's two little girls, my nephew, and the two kids I sponsor.
21) Boomer Sooner. Go OU. Always.
22) I have several nicknames, from Heartbreaker to Muffin, but one of my favorites will never be spoken again or known except by family because it was given to me by my deceased brother.
23) Some of my biggest struggles are with body image and self-confidence that goes with it and with being alone.
24) I am not ashamed to say that I love swim aerobics and would go to class with my grandparents.
25) I joined the Army Reserves 2 years ago for many reasons, but, in the end, it doesn't matter; It really is an honor to serve.
It was really challenging to get it down to only 25! Even thought about making two lists -- one for growing up until high school and the other from college to present. Nonetheless, I'm sure you learned something new about me! However, we all are unique and have a story to tell or facts as it may be. :) Share yours!
Saturday, August 6, 2016
The Friendguy or Friendgirl
Thumbing through the 'ol FB feed, I spot several photos, updates, or articles that I "like" or click on to read. One recent, "Hmm, this looks interesting. Click." was about relationships, specifically how guys treat ladies like a "friendgirl."
The article "Your Friendgirl Deserves Better" by Joshua Rogers can be found here:
http://www.boundless.org/relat
I re-posted it without expecting any "likes," comments, or shares, honestly. But the "Hmm, this looks interesting" also got others (much like your clicking on this blog link, eh?). However, I think it's also because we can all relate to being the "friendguy" or "friendgirl." Furthermore, while the article focuses on the dudes, no one escapes the admonishment. Girls and guys are both the victims and the perpetrators.
I said, "Could have written this myself but wasn't blogging then, yet still on guard of it happening again. Good read and reminder!" This is true. Whether in high school, college, or grad school, this has happened. It was fun in the moment but then I just felt used. Now post-schooling, I think and hope I'm more conscientious to not let it happen to me or by me.
http://www.boundless.org/relat
I re-posted it without expecting any "likes," comments, or shares, honestly. But the "Hmm, this looks interesting" also got others (much like your clicking on this blog link, eh?). However, I think it's also because we can all relate to being the "friendguy" or "friendgirl." Furthermore, while the article focuses on the dudes, no one escapes the admonishment. Girls and guys are both the victims and the perpetrators.
I said, "Could have written this myself but wasn't blogging then, yet still on guard of it happening again. Good read and reminder!" This is true. Whether in high school, college, or grad school, this has happened. It was fun in the moment but then I just felt used. Now post-schooling, I think and hope I'm more conscientious to not let it happen to me or by me.
Since I've felt like I've been lead on or have just hung around too long hoping something would happen someday, I definitely play more heavily on the defense. If I don't see it going somewhere, I break it off really soon. Maybe too soon in some cases, but, in the end, I'd rather not waste their time or my time. Simple as that. As another friend put it, "Our culture does still encourage women to wait for men to initiate, but if he hasn't, move on."
She also said, "Read the book 'He's Just Not that Into You' and do something that screams that you love yourself and are worth loving." I have not read that book but I might, and I definitely do things for me and know that I'm worth loving. Surely someday some guy will be able to keep up with me :) Granted, it also helps that I know what I want in a guy, I know my worth, I know what I will and will not put up with, I know that I'm okay with saying "see ya later, bye!" for forever in a nice way, and I know that I can still be a non-awkward friend if the romantic part doesn't pan out.
To play devil's advocate, in a sense, a friend of mine said she loved being the friend because she "loved knowing how the other side thought, having someone have my back and treat me and show me the way I wanted to be treated long term. I was able to see what kind of guys I meshed well with and ones I didn't." So true. They can do all of that. I mean, let's be real. Guy friends are awesome! I can't think of a time when I didn't have a great group of guys to do homework with, go to sporting events with, grab a bite to eat with, do something fun on campus with, do really crazy, silly stuff with, have deep conversations with, etc. I've had some of the best and most fun times with them. Besides, they lend a "guy's perspective" when I need it, offer wise advice, and lay it out pretty simply most of the time.
My friend went on to say that she probably wouldn't have started dating her now husband had they not been great friends beforehand. This is what most girls want -- to date and marry their best friend.
She also said that it was her choice to have the friendship and her choice to give her heart away, speaking of the time she was the "friendgirl." Of course, this is true. Everyone chooses who they like, how long they hold on, or whether they string someone along. And that choice is hard, I know.
I like what she said at the very end a lot: "Want the friendship? Say it. Want the relationship? Say it." I think too many times we don't even tell the other person what we want or expect, hoping they'll figure it out. Sometimes it is plain to see and that's great for everyone. For me, I guess I'm old-fashioned in that I'm going to let the guy initiate, but I don't think that that is wrong or bad. In my experience, if someone really wants something, they go for it. So, if a guy really wants a girl, he goes for her. Perfect example: a guy friend told me about driving a very, very long distance just so that he could spend the day with the girl he liked and ask her if she'd date him. I give him huge, huge props for making such an effort to show her his interest and seriousness and to actually ask her. Another example is of a friend here in SD who met her guy 2 weeks before he left the state. I thought I had misheard her but no. He literally met her and 2 weeks later had to leave, but they're still together after 3 years now. I love that they're together and that a long-distance relationship, though not ideal, can work if both parties make the commitment.
Read this blog post. Read the original article. Form your own opinion or agree with what's been said. Decide if you're "the friend" and okay with it. Decide if you're going with friendship or something more.
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
American Way Magazine
After stressing about making my flight (personally induced, definitely not AA induced), it was quite nice to sit and read the American Way magazine that I enjoy so much. I always read the Editor's Note by Adam Pitluk, yet read the August issue featuring Neil Young basically from cover to cover.
I especially enjoyed Adam's "Now I'm Running Down the Road" since it took me to Darius Nabors' "Park and Recreation" article. Both brilliant pieces pointed out many things I've been experiencing for myself.
I have recently become a travel Dietitian and my first assignment is in South Dakota. Taking full advantage of the new scenery (I'm from OK/TX), I have visited more national parks -- Badlands, Black Hills, Yellowstone, Grand Teton -- in the past weeks than in almost my whole life! Now I will consider more parks as a vacation and new adventure much more quickly (maybe even be as adventurous to take on pieces of Darius' tour!) since I kept thinking while in the parks, "I need more time!!" ...Time to see in depth God's creation and "just how spectacularly beautiful this country is," as Adam said, as well as to unplug from social media and put work on hold, to truly make lasting memories to share.
I sent all the above into the American Way editor to hopefully be published and then be entered into a drawing for 100,000 AAdvantage miles. Fingers crossed!!
As you can see, that was the short and sweet version. I figured my long-windedness probably wouldn't be published so, you, my little blog readers, get it here:
I just read about this guy who quit his job, convinced a friend to join him on a sweet trip, and then set out do it -- see all 59 national parks in 59 weeks! That. Is. Awesome.
I was struck not only by the feat of what they were doing and the amazing views and experiences they were having (since I've had a small taste) but also by the fact that he (Darius) said this,
"When people hear about my trip to visit all the national parks, there's an initial assumption that I'm running away from a bad job or a bad relationship. You know, the classic "My life is horrible, I must escape to nature, commune with the trees and return to society whole and healed" kind of story. I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm not running to nature for repairs. I am running to nature because it is objectively beautiful -- and because, like Forrest Gump, I like to run
.
Before I left, I was leading what was, by most conventional measures, a pretty good life: living in downtown Charlottesville, Virginia; working for my alma mater, the University of Virginia, as a fundraiser for the School of Nursing. I could take my running shoes to work and, at the end of the day, be on a secluded nature trail in five minutes.
Life was good. It just wasn't enough.
One day, it struck me that my year consisted of 237 work days and 24 (precious) vacation days, which presented a mathematical problem: How could I derive the most fun and joy with family and friends out of those 24 vacation days? No matter how I divided my days, I couldn't get everything on the list.
I kept envisioning myself as a grandfather sitting on a porch with my future wife and kids. We sit, cups in hand, reminiscing about the good ol' days. One of my kids asks, 'What do you most regret, Dad?' Without skipping a beat, I say, 'I wish I would have gone on that trip to visit all the national parks.'"
Darius hits it out of the park! (Yeah, read into that pun) It's cool that he acknowledges that he's not running from anything but, really, running to take advantage of an opportunity while consequently not having regrets as well as literally running. My kinda guy.
I feel like I can relate. While looking for another job, I prayed, sought wise counsel, and prayed some more. I didn't want to be "running from a bad job" and I had a good life -- friends and family near, could bike to work, had a wonderful church, had good running loops, plenty of fun things to do like dancing, awesome apartment and landlords, etc., etc., etc. Yet I thought it wasn't enough.
How do you get those 24 vacation days to really pay off?? Exactly. I know I can do it because I've done it before but with the chance to have more time off than that, that's super appealing. Having a travel job gives me some flexibility with my work schedule, more chances to explore, and way more time off if I want it.
The author had a friend to go with on this trip. As did another super ambitious mountain climber, Melissa Arnot and friend Maddie Miller, who I read was climbing 50 of the highest peaks in the 50 States in 50 days. Also awesome. I don't have such luck with traveling friends these days. Might be my bad, but I have, however, been blessed with great, forever friends since arriving in SD, and maybe I should put out applications for when I travel for fun. So, anyone want to go Australia and/or New Zealand?!? :) I'm being serious.
I'm also being serious when I say that I miss my friends in Texas and Oklahoma and my family. I knew it would be hard, yet it's different when the fact that you're missing out on life events or fun things or deep, in person conversations keeps hitting you in the face one after another. For now, I can only do my best to keep up with people and know that I'm not going to be so distant for forever.
Not living with regrets, like Darius mentions, is ideal. I have 2 so far in life, and I don't wish to have more. Obviously, I think I would have regretted not taking the travel job, especially if I would have not gone for it because I was scared (live fearlessly is a life statement), because of a guy (especially if nothing actually happened or we broke up soon after dating), because I thought Army would hold me back (they are working with me, praise God), because of any other silly excuse I may come up with!
I was reminded by my sweet, best friend to pray and that God is big. He can make possible what seems impossible. So, God can crush my fears, He can help me figure out how to still serve my country, and He can bring the right guy into my life -- one who truly wants to be with me, who puts in effort, and one who makes the cut, like isn't "too boring" as all the guys I've ever mentioned to a certain friend are just that to her... hmm... haha! She then, unprompted, listed a myriad of reasons as to why I'm beautiful, Godly, adventurous, smart, brave, and wonderful and should wait for a super great guy, who's up to speed, to steal my heart. Love her! I think I'm picky but, boy, my friends also have high standards for who gets me! Love it.
The view that I didn't have enough is beginning to change slightly, but the reality is that I am still trying to find a way to get what I want: the guy I want to share life with, the next adventure I want to take, the job I want, the boss and coworkers I want, the place I want to call home close to family and good friends.
Like Darius' epic park tour, my travel RD experience may only last 59 weeks, too. I don't know. My world could be flipped upside down very soon in a good or bad way for all I know! The fact is, is that all I know right now is that I'm not staying in SD but will visit when I can. Man, sometimes I wish I could see just a glimpse of the future because then I would know a piece of the puzzle. Alas, it doesn't work like that. Still, I know I shouldn't be worried about the future; I'm in God's hands.
And you shouldn't worry either... I'll let you know if I get published in the American Way magazine or if I go to more glorious national parks.
I especially enjoyed Adam's "Now I'm Running Down the Road" since it took me to Darius Nabors' "Park and Recreation" article. Both brilliant pieces pointed out many things I've been experiencing for myself.
I have recently become a travel Dietitian and my first assignment is in South Dakota. Taking full advantage of the new scenery (I'm from OK/TX), I have visited more national parks -- Badlands, Black Hills, Yellowstone, Grand Teton -- in the past weeks than in almost my whole life! Now I will consider more parks as a vacation and new adventure much more quickly (maybe even be as adventurous to take on pieces of Darius' tour!) since I kept thinking while in the parks, "I need more time!!" ...Time to see in depth God's creation and "just how spectacularly beautiful this country is," as Adam said, as well as to unplug from social media and put work on hold, to truly make lasting memories to share.
I sent all the above into the American Way editor to hopefully be published and then be entered into a drawing for 100,000 AAdvantage miles. Fingers crossed!!
As you can see, that was the short and sweet version. I figured my long-windedness probably wouldn't be published so, you, my little blog readers, get it here:
I just read about this guy who quit his job, convinced a friend to join him on a sweet trip, and then set out do it -- see all 59 national parks in 59 weeks! That. Is. Awesome.
I was struck not only by the feat of what they were doing and the amazing views and experiences they were having (since I've had a small taste) but also by the fact that he (Darius) said this,
"When people hear about my trip to visit all the national parks, there's an initial assumption that I'm running away from a bad job or a bad relationship. You know, the classic "My life is horrible, I must escape to nature, commune with the trees and return to society whole and healed" kind of story. I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm not running to nature for repairs. I am running to nature because it is objectively beautiful -- and because, like Forrest Gump, I like to run
.
Before I left, I was leading what was, by most conventional measures, a pretty good life: living in downtown Charlottesville, Virginia; working for my alma mater, the University of Virginia, as a fundraiser for the School of Nursing. I could take my running shoes to work and, at the end of the day, be on a secluded nature trail in five minutes.
Life was good. It just wasn't enough.
One day, it struck me that my year consisted of 237 work days and 24 (precious) vacation days, which presented a mathematical problem: How could I derive the most fun and joy with family and friends out of those 24 vacation days? No matter how I divided my days, I couldn't get everything on the list.
I kept envisioning myself as a grandfather sitting on a porch with my future wife and kids. We sit, cups in hand, reminiscing about the good ol' days. One of my kids asks, 'What do you most regret, Dad?' Without skipping a beat, I say, 'I wish I would have gone on that trip to visit all the national parks.'"
Darius hits it out of the park! (Yeah, read into that pun) It's cool that he acknowledges that he's not running from anything but, really, running to take advantage of an opportunity while consequently not having regrets as well as literally running. My kinda guy.
I feel like I can relate. While looking for another job, I prayed, sought wise counsel, and prayed some more. I didn't want to be "running from a bad job" and I had a good life -- friends and family near, could bike to work, had a wonderful church, had good running loops, plenty of fun things to do like dancing, awesome apartment and landlords, etc., etc., etc. Yet I thought it wasn't enough.
How do you get those 24 vacation days to really pay off?? Exactly. I know I can do it because I've done it before but with the chance to have more time off than that, that's super appealing. Having a travel job gives me some flexibility with my work schedule, more chances to explore, and way more time off if I want it.
The author had a friend to go with on this trip. As did another super ambitious mountain climber, Melissa Arnot and friend Maddie Miller, who I read was climbing 50 of the highest peaks in the 50 States in 50 days. Also awesome. I don't have such luck with traveling friends these days. Might be my bad, but I have, however, been blessed with great, forever friends since arriving in SD, and maybe I should put out applications for when I travel for fun. So, anyone want to go Australia and/or New Zealand?!? :) I'm being serious.
I'm also being serious when I say that I miss my friends in Texas and Oklahoma and my family. I knew it would be hard, yet it's different when the fact that you're missing out on life events or fun things or deep, in person conversations keeps hitting you in the face one after another. For now, I can only do my best to keep up with people and know that I'm not going to be so distant for forever.
Not living with regrets, like Darius mentions, is ideal. I have 2 so far in life, and I don't wish to have more. Obviously, I think I would have regretted not taking the travel job, especially if I would have not gone for it because I was scared (live fearlessly is a life statement), because of a guy (especially if nothing actually happened or we broke up soon after dating), because I thought Army would hold me back (they are working with me, praise God), because of any other silly excuse I may come up with!
I was reminded by my sweet, best friend to pray and that God is big. He can make possible what seems impossible. So, God can crush my fears, He can help me figure out how to still serve my country, and He can bring the right guy into my life -- one who truly wants to be with me, who puts in effort, and one who makes the cut, like isn't "too boring" as all the guys I've ever mentioned to a certain friend are just that to her... hmm... haha! She then, unprompted, listed a myriad of reasons as to why I'm beautiful, Godly, adventurous, smart, brave, and wonderful and should wait for a super great guy, who's up to speed, to steal my heart. Love her! I think I'm picky but, boy, my friends also have high standards for who gets me! Love it.
The view that I didn't have enough is beginning to change slightly, but the reality is that I am still trying to find a way to get what I want: the guy I want to share life with, the next adventure I want to take, the job I want, the boss and coworkers I want, the place I want to call home close to family and good friends.
Like Darius' epic park tour, my travel RD experience may only last 59 weeks, too. I don't know. My world could be flipped upside down very soon in a good or bad way for all I know! The fact is, is that all I know right now is that I'm not staying in SD but will visit when I can. Man, sometimes I wish I could see just a glimpse of the future because then I would know a piece of the puzzle. Alas, it doesn't work like that. Still, I know I shouldn't be worried about the future; I'm in God's hands.
And you shouldn't worry either... I'll let you know if I get published in the American Way magazine or if I go to more glorious national parks.
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Ode to Texas
Holding so many
I know and love
Whether in or near,
You help me keep them dear.
Making me happy
As the sun beams above.
Beams that are blazing hot,
Which is your summer flaw.
Doesn't everything have one?
That can make some run,
Yet you are still sought
And loved by moi.
Loved because you are home
For now, maybe always,
Because of friends and family
To make memories happily,
Even though I roam
For months, weeks, or days.
You're hard to leave.
You pull me back.
I hate missing out
And will probably come round about
For a reason, I believe,
But give me some slack!
I love to travel,
Make new friends far away.
Enjoy life to the fullest!
Try to be the coolest.
Do all things novel,
So you can't make me stay.
Lucky you,
Most of the time
I want to.
I know and love
Whether in or near,
You help me keep them dear.
Making me happy
As the sun beams above.
Beams that are blazing hot,
Which is your summer flaw.
Doesn't everything have one?
That can make some run,
Yet you are still sought
And loved by moi.
Loved because you are home
For now, maybe always,
Because of friends and family
To make memories happily,
Even though I roam
For months, weeks, or days.
You're hard to leave.
You pull me back.
I hate missing out
And will probably come round about
For a reason, I believe,
But give me some slack!
I love to travel,
Make new friends far away.
Enjoy life to the fullest!
Try to be the coolest.
Do all things novel,
So you can't make me stay.
Lucky you,
Most of the time
I want to.
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