The Eyes Have It

I was enjoying the show a lot.  The choreography was fun, the music was upbeat, the singing was incredible, the jokes were funny.  And I sometimes sang along.

Then the stripper scene started.  I had forgotten about that in the story line...

I'm sitting there with a mini strip scene happening (in my opinion, since I've definitely never been to one) with a few men in the crowd hooting and hollering.  I don't really care that it's a part of the show, I don't care if it's not a true strip show, I don't care if everybody else was watching and enjoying it.  I was disgusted.

Oh, be careful little eyes what you see.

Our culture is so flooded with sex and people are desensitized to it.  Everywhere you turn, it seems someone is gesturing to it or some picture is alluding to it or someone is being very explicit about it or what have you.  It's not a big deal, they say.  It doesn't effect me, they say.  It's just a part of the show, they say. 

Wrong.

What happened to purity, both physical and mental?  What happened to hating what God hates?  What happened to actively trying to resist temptation?

Sin is a big deal.  Sexual sin is a sin.  And it will hurt you and hurt those you care about.

It makes me angry because I know God meant for one man to enjoy only one woman and vice versa, and yet there are shows that enable a person to sit and indulge visually on another woman's or man's body with that supposedly special someone right next to them.  It makes me angry because someone dancing around half-naked with a nice body and provocative moves is not real life, and I think it potentially gives someone false expectations.  It makes me angry that everyone just sat there and watched this very sexual dance go on and on.

I get that you can just enjoy the show.  I just wonder how many people went beyond the simple show. Who went beyond into the lust and adultery and impurity side of things?  I'll never know, of course.  That's between God and someone else's heart.

It's disappointing, to say the least.  Because, as much as I wish there was one person who looked away, I don't think there was.

I don't care if you think I'll never see another show again because I will -- it will surely be more PG, and I'll be happy and less tempted and less angry.  I don't care if you think I'm the only one that thinks this way because I definitely know I am not -- the women next to me even expressed their disgust.  I don't care if I never see a stripper scene again or am the only one who tries to resist temptation.  I don't care.  Because you know what?  I am, sometimes.  I am the only one who wasn't laughing at jokes disgracing God, in my opinion.  I am the one who got up during one of those sexy scenes to go to the bathroom and not have to watch it, because I don't want to put that rubbish in my mind or heart.

I don't say this to toot my own self-righteous horn.  That's not the point.  I most definitely have my own struggles.  I'm just saying it because I'm mad at the sin and brokenness in the world, how it affects me and others, and the lack of what I guess is conviction. 

Maybe this is just a wake-up call for myself and others.  Be aware of what you are watching and how it truly can and will affect you and others.  No one is perfect but we all have the opportunity to honor God, honor our own selves/bodies, and honor others (significant others included). 

Resist temptation and flee from it, by any means necessary.  Stand up for what's right.  Renew your desire for purity.  Even if you're the only one.

Just Words

Once you say it, you can't take it back.  Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.  If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it at all (or say it online, these days).  If you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself.

Phrases like this are actually very truthful.  It's been interesting to think back to different phrases that I've heard like the ones above or even some like "you talk too much" or "you're quiet" -- as in you need to zip it sometimes and you don't talk enough, respectively -- are actually pretty enlightening.  To one extent or the other, I think all these phrases allude to the fact that words have power. 

We all speak or write words, so we all have power.  How are you using yours? 

I think you can either use that power to uplift or to tear down.  I also strongly believe that the words that come out of your mouth really come from your heart.  I just thought of one of my favorite verses in Psalm 19 which says, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer."

So, they're not just words. 

Want to know what's in someone's heart?  Sure, watch what they do but definitely listen to what they say, how they say it, and what they talk about in conversation.  Listen to their words.  What people think, what's in/on their mind, and what they meditate on in their heart will come out of their mouth.  Chew on that.

Beyond that, words have actions of their own but then they also can spark action.  No wonder the Bible warns, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it"!

Everything you do, flows through your heart.  I'm no Bible scholar but I think "do" here encompasses everything possible, so words are included.  Definitely chew on that.

Those actions, or words, can't be taken back.  And definitely can hurt.  However, there is a remedy called asking for forgiveness.  It doesn't matter if you're asking God for forgiveness or someone else for forgiveness.  A sincere "I'm sorry" can go a long way.  It can most definitely mend strained relationships. That is amazing when you really think about it!  It's two words, just two words!!  Those two simple words can help melt away so much.  And still, those two simple words can be very hard for some to say.

Relationships are built on a lot of things, one being words.  If you don't talk and communicate, you're not going to have a very good relationship.  If you don't ask for forgiveness and/or accept it, you're not going to have a very good relationship.  It's beyond unfortunate relationships die because of the lack of an apology -- that's a shame but also truth.

I think everyone has their standard of sorry/repentance, but for me, you don't have to grovel or anything.  I only expect a simple and sincere sorry and then for them to do better or be better in the future.  Similar to what my high school teacher used to say, "Don't be sorry, just be better!"

I get not saying something if it's not going to be nice, whether in person or online.  For example, in the heat of the moment, you might want an apology, you might want to say a lot of nasty things, you might want the other person to know you're hurt or offended, you might want to stand up for yourself or your opinion, ect. ...you might actually need to Shut. Your. Mouth. 

I am truly horrible at this.  Though, somehow, I feel I'm pretty decent at not saying something too mean.  The thing that really gets me is when you're trying to have an actual, normal conversation and get nothing.  Like radio silence.

Not saying a word is a response.  It is more often than not conjured up to be negative in the other's mind, from what I have gathered myself.  So, you are sending a message if you purposely choose not to say anything.  Whoever says differently is a liar or kidding themselves. 

I've noticed the less someone responds (i.e. doesn't give me words), the less I want to talk.  It's more out of hurt and immaturity and somehow like I'm getting revenge.  Over time though, I'd rather punch their face.  That seems normal, right?  Well, the wanting to talk less part. Ha!  If the other person is not responding, why would I talk?  It's like I'm having a conversation with the wall, if in person, and like the iCloud, if via text.  Sometimes I have to force myself to talk and not get offended when I don't get anything back to stuff I say.  This is hard and I don't like it.  Why can't everyone talk like I want them to talk and carry a conversation??

Then there is the opposite, when someone talks too much to me.  I usually get annoyed when it's just about something I've listened to enough already (like we're 15 minutes deep and I'm starting not to care) or it's something I already know, which tends to happen at work.  I start giving subtle hints that I don't want to talk.  I also want to punch their face.

No physical harm has ever been done, just FYI.

Okay, moving on.  Not saying something to yourself if you wouldn't say it to a friend... Yikes!  I definitely need to clean up my self-talk!

Negative self-talk can be very destructive, while positive self-talk can be very healing, even protective.  Negativity may spread like wildfire and positivity like harden putty, but being positive is crucial.  It doesn't have to be a lot, either.  Just being thankful for one thing a day is a start.

Heck, are negative talk can be destructive.  Personally, I don't like complainers and I have to confess that I have unfortunately fallen into that hole.  I complain about work (amongst other things) and, shocker, it doesn't make it better.  It just makes me angry and riled up.  I'm convicted by the power words have, by the environment I'm creating (which isn't a good one), and by a verse telling us to refrain from all grumbling and complaining -- "Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I [Paul] may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain."

Clearly, there are many, many verses in the Bible about one's words.  There are also many on the mouth and tongue, from which words obviously come out.  I haven't gotten to those yet ;)

My quick study on "words" has cemented in my brain that words are not "just" words but have meaning,  power, and more, and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Multi-Faceted

There are many sides of me:
Happy Jessie
Productive Jessie
Insecure Jessie
Ungrateful Jessie
Grateful Jessie
Competitive Jessie
Generous Jessie
Scared Jessie
Not confident Jessie
Sweet Jessie
Creative Jessie
and the list could go on and on.

There are sides of me that I don't like and there are  obvious sides that I do like.  Course, doesn't everyone like the good, positive ones?

I've come to realize that some of the not so pleasant and good sides are coming to the surface.  Some I have suppressed, consciously or unconsciously.  None of them I like; I want nothing to do with the yucky ones.  And yet, here they are in all their ugliness for me to deal with, to drag others through along with me (not recommended), and to get rid of, hopefully. 

I want them gone forever.  I wish that want was all it took.  I wish becoming more like Christ was a lot easier.  It is hard work/discipline.  It is not fun.  It is ugly.  It is sometimes very ugly.  It is refining.

The bad ones like insecure Jessie, for instance, are not dealt with gracefully.  But something must be done about them.  I can't keep suppressing or not wanting to deal with the bad.  And some I thought I had dealt with a long time ago yet are raring their head again, wanting to beat me.  However, I want to destroy them with truth.

God's truth.  Truths like: I am secure in Christ; I am the righteousness of Christ Jesus; I am strong in the Lord; God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind; I have the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.

Further, I have to come back to the fact God loves me despite all the bad and no matter the end result.

I see more often the effects of leaving sins and shortcomings to be dealt with later, to be swept under the rug, to be suppressed, etc.  It's not good for me, by any means, and it's most certainly not good for those around me, who are affected.

Whether you understand what I saying or not, I think we can all relate to being refined in some form or fashion.

We are all being refined, right?  I know I am being refined by God and because He loves me, and I can only be refined because sin, all my sin, has been dealt with on the cross by Christ.

That's always the answer even if the path seems difficult to such a simple answer.