Strengths

The question "What are your strengths?" was posed to me today and I froze.  Honestly, my initial thought was, "Oh my gosh, what do I say in an interview?!" because that's the only time I've really been asked that question.  But I hadn't rehearsed this time, ha!

I ended up saying something about organization and liking a list and being able to check stuff off, and I thinking I can communicate pretty well (but then trying to communicate with my current boss has potentially proven that one wrong).  I don't know, I just muttered through things.

The woman who asked said next, "Can I help you out?  One thing I've noticed already is that I think you're not afraid to say what you need."  And she is right.  To that, I also added, kind of as a piggyback, that I do know what I need because I think I know myself very well.  Furthermore, I said I know I'm smart and I can pretty much do what I set out to do.

She followed this up with the to-be-expected  question of "What do you think your weaknesses or hindrances are?" to which I was very quick to say, "I'm very hard on myself, was and probably still am a perfectionist of sorts" and something else. 

Later, after a slight pity party for myself because I couldn't remember any strengths I have, I thought of some.  I thought about how my Mom always says I'm disciplined and some other stuff.  ...And then I thought, "I'm not really doing any of those currently..."  Hmm.

One thing is that I think strengths = what you're good at.  So, in the past, I thought I was good at baking, running, blogging/writing, taking pictures, card making, decorating, encouraging others, being a Dietitian, dancing, and being positive.

I think I just need to get back to some of these things.  Plus, maybe it'll stop me from wallowing in my weaknesses, haha!

Most importantly though, I realize one strength is knowing who I am in Christ, and no one can take that away despite it being tested.  I think I know myself so well because I actually try -- read books, take quizzes, ask questions, sift through thoughts/feelings -- and because I try to know God. 

Like everyone else on the real faith journey, I'm a work in progress.  So, here's to me getting back to some strengths and seeing God work in my weaknesses and being humbled by it.

Praying

I left the room and let the stench of anger, bitterness, and disbelief stay.  I thought I was done; I had gotten the information from the patient I needed and knew I couldn't change their mind about unfortunate life circumstances and definitely not the unabashed anger against God.

And yet, I was saddened and burdened by the brief life story given to me just moments ago.  I had taken maybe three steps down the hall and was thinking of what I could do.  Pray for them came to mind and then the memory popped up of someone saying at some point in my life that most people don't say no to prayer.

I had the second of doubt and "I don't wanna" attitude flash by, but I turned around and entered the room again and asked if the patient wanted me to pray for them.  They said yes.

This particular scenario has only happened once for me, though I talk about my faith at work in other ways.  For one, I could see similarities between us with the anger,  bitterness, and resentment.  Second, I knew I had the answer, whether they liked it or not, which is to pray and to give it to God.  I told them it is hard, in some ways, and you won't do it perfectly but it does beat the alternative.  It beats being at the end of your rope, being an unpleasant and unhappy person, and ultimately turning away from God.

I've gone through more things in my life in the past one, max of two, years.  And I'll tell you that I have never prayed so much.

I pray for God to change me, because I cannot change others.  I pray along the lines of the serenity prayer (God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference) because, even if it is cliche now, it is very, very true.  I pray for the Lord to forgive me for being angry, and I talk to Him about it.  I pray for others, not that they would change but that God would reveal things to them, too.  I pray for my husband the most, after myself, because, honestly, I haven't felt the need to pray so consistently for one person before -- I love him and want the best for him.

I think that's it.  Throw two opposite people together and then a plethora of not-so-stellar situations or circumstances at one or both of them, and you've got a recipe in need of a lot of prayer, a lot of God in your life.  His design or what?

I know I would be okay if it was just me and God, and if I can share that with others to help them too, so be it.

Right now, it's me, God, and my husband.  And the friends and family I know I can rely on.  I am grateful.

And on a side note, I think I should start praying for our country and our leaders.  The world is changing...