Momma

"Hi! It's Momma!" can be heard a lot in my house because it is my favorite phrase to say to my sweet girl right now :) There's a 95% success rate of getting a smile after saying it.

In fact, one of the best things about being a Mom is seeing my little one recognize me and then smile. It takes a second for recognition to kick in - little eyes searching, little wheels turning - but, then it does, and warmth and happiness flood over us both, I imagine.

The pure joy that spreads across her face is priceless and oh, so precious.

It's fun to watch her wiggle around and know she is learning. It's unique to have inclinations as to what she is thinking and needing when she can't even roll over yet, much less talk. It's neat to watch her grow, going from 5 pounds, 6 ounces to over 12 pounds currently. It's a reward to be able to breastfeed and provide her nutrients (p.s. I have a new found appreciation for my body; from birth to now, my body is incredible. God is so awesome to design me this way!). It's hilarious to see her breastfeed sometimes - pop off, look up, smile, pop back on haha! It's magical to be able to stay home and play with her and listen to all the cooing during the day.

Let's not forget the super cute outfits I get to put her in! Teenie tiny girl clothes are just too adorable.

Another "best" is almost unexplainable. The best thing about being a Mom is literally being a Mom. I just knew the instant she was born I was overjoyed and in love. And I had a new job and role.  

Feeling Real Cruddy

Her face got as red as a poinsettia in an instant. I held her little frame while she was stuck between breaths for what seemed way too long. I was gathering my wits of what possibly to do. Then the biggest white rainbow came right for me from her teenie tiny mouth. 

That was my Friday. Day 1 of my poor, little girl being very sick.

My heart hurts.

Being a mother has been fine and dandy for the majority of my whole 3 months, yet the last few days have been sad and humbling. Sad because I don't like seeing my little one suffer, hearing the wheezing, knowing she's miserable. Humbling because I don't know what to do exactly to help except wrap her in my arms, bounce her, and tell her truths to soothe, like I love you.

I know that's all there is to do. The "nasty upper respiratory infection" will take it's stroll around the body and then vacate. It just takes time.

Still, I'm exhausted and my head and heart are taking a beating. Not to mention all our clothes and linens from the copious amounts of body fluid. Yuck. And let's not forget Blue. He has to howl a loud, obnoxious sympathy almost every time she cries.

Sidenote: Whoever invented the Moby wrap and the frida baby booger sucker should get a raise. Loving those products at the moment.

This is the first sickness of many, I know. She's just so small right now! Heaven help her ... and me.