Gifts (Part 2)

Two days ago I wrote about gift giving as re-gifting, trying to show some love, and the beauty of giving in general.  This post is a little piggy-back on that because yesterday I was given a yoga mat!  So fun! 

I have no idea if my yoga buddy read my last blog post about giving gifts.  She just claims it's an early birthday present.  Guys, my birthday isn't until August.  Haha!  It's definitely a sweet friend thinking of me :)

In fact, I have a lot of people who think of me and show me in delightful ways.  One such way is with little gifts.  For example, two super nice guy friends seem to always have something for me whenever I see them.  It's typically food now that I think about it... Haha! That's a-okay in my book!  It's very kind of them, especially since I've been restricted on foods lately (another post to come!) and the one buys what I say I like and can have.  Then there's my twinny who gave me a matching SD spoon ring, my bestie who gave me a book that reminded her of our relationship (and she wrote a sweet note in the front to me), and my brother and sister-in-law who gave me a set of 5 pearl earrings that I wear all the time.  Literally.  All the time.  I have a pair in right now. 

Those are just some of the most recent and tangible things, and I love it.  Gifts are just good and fun, especially if there's a note/card attached :)  Honestly, I personally give cards/notes to stand out and to try to better convey what I think of the person receiving it.  Thus, I spend time on what I write and assume others do the same.  Maybe not, but I still like to think it!  I mean, I know it's not everyone's cup of tea so some won't get it (*cough* guy I'm crushing on *cough*), but notes, gifts, and quality time are the top ways I show and receive love so it just makes sense to me. 

My upbringing had an impact, I know. My Mom loves with words and she's pretty artsy, so she'd write notes and put them in mine and my brother's  lunch bags, which were cutely decorated.  I vividly remember one bag with my name boldly written in black magic marker framed with a big, tilted, red heart.  I loved it.  Aww, good Mommy! 

I also spent a lot of time with my Grandparents.  My Grandfather, Duke, always had us grandkids huddle around to tell us crazy, made up, funny stories so I think quality time is big for him.  My Grandma, Lulu, practically bought every piece of clothing I put on my body while growing up.  She always explains her purchases and it goes something like, "This was originally $176 at Dillard's but there was a 75% off sale on clearance and then I had a 20% off coupon on top of that.  I saw a mark on it so the lady at the register gave me an extra 10% off.  I already got it out.  I only paid $2.89."  I mean, the store basically pays her to take merchandise.  This is Grandma talk for "I love a bargain" and definitely "I love you."

Going on a small rabbit trail and the flip side of love languages, my Dad and brother love in ways that are not my strong suits, which are acts of service and physical touch.  Once I learned this, though, I made the effort so they felt loved.  For instance, I wash cars or do yard work for/with my Dad and I try to make sure I give my brother a big hug when I first see him and when I say goodbye. 

So, back to gifts.  For me, it doesn't matter the price one pays, whether something is used or brand new, or how "simple" it might be as long as it comes from the heart.

I suppose the bonus is a gift from family, whom I'll always love; from wonderful friends, whom I hold dear; or from a boyfriend or crush, who has the extra, extra bonus of giving me the butterflies ;)

When the day is done, though, I hope I will be thankful for what I receive no matter what it is, think of others and not just myself, and continue to be a giver, not a taker. 

The Re-gift

We’ve all done it, and we’ll all keep doing it.  The re-gift.  It’s like a disease.

We’ve all received some little trinket that another person is kindly and maybe excitedly giving us  …and we have no idea what we’ll do with it.  Sometimes we don’t have a clue what it is!  All we know is that we will either throw it away or re-gift it.  

We also know we have to fake it.

I think this is where true talent comes into play.  Or perhaps one’s “perfect practice” is about to pay off.  I think and hope I’m in the latter camp.  I’ve had many years and attempts to feign excitement, some successes and some down-right awful face plants.  Yikes. 

Let me say now that I think the main take-away from one giving a gift, absolutely no matter what, is the person is trying to show they like you, care for you, or thought of you.  They want to convey that through a gift because it might be one of their love languages or they feel compelled to do so due to a holiday or your birthday.  However, whatever the reason, it does take the person time and thought (but some put in more effort than others, let’s be real).  So, yes, it’s cliché but true – it really is the thought that counts.

I was once sent a picture with texts reading along the lines of “Bought for me (but not what I asked for).  I thanked her profusely, of course, but didn’t let on.  It was sweet of her to do it for me.”  Precisely.   Sometimes people just won’t get exactly what we request.  They can’t see the picture you have in your mind.  Perhaps it wasn’t available and they had to get second-best.  You don’t know but you should still be thankful.

Growing up I had gotten into a bad habit of not being very thankful for the things being offered to me.  I think my facial expressions of disappointment or disgust or befuddlement also got really old.  Isn’t forgiveness a beautiful thing?  Maturity is too, thankfully.  

I didn’t realize it hurt my Mom so much when I didn’t say thanks or had an air of “well, nice try…” until she said so one day.  It wasn’t pretty.  Now I am truly and genuinely thankful for what she and others do for me and give to me.  I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, especially in the midst of their joy to be presenting me with something they think I’d be delighted with or just something simple and fun that made them think of me.  I do this very thing often and love it :)

I have also now been on the receiving end of the not-so-thankful person, and it’s not nice.  So, for one, I don’t stress over what to give my family and friends.  I still take the time to search for a great gift but I don’t put undue pressure on myself.  Once something is offered, whether I bought it or made it, it’s up to them what they do with it.  They can either use it, toss it, or re-gift it.  Secondly, I try hard not to let someone’s response bother me, making a mental note that gifts might not be for them or that I will try to improve the next go-around.  

Let me tell on myself…  The last “crappy gift” I gave (this has been verified) was a drink koozi with a gift card to Chic-fil-a and some candies.  Doesn’t sound so bad but here’s what happened.  My family does a Dirty Santa game, for which everyone is to bring a $10 gift to exchange.  I quickly bought a $10 gift card for food, thinking that no matter who got it they could use it.  I tried to spruce it up by placing it in a koozie filled with candies.  Our game didn’t exactly happen this year, so I thought of a friend who might want it.  Every guy likes food and a koozie (for beer obviously), right?  Well, not my best work.  And I kinda spread the disease of re-gifting.  Ugh.  I should have gone with my original, super awesome gift for him that I talked myself out of because it was too much.  He at least said thanks and later confessed to using the koozi.

Since then, I decided I should just go with my gut even if it is over the top.  Happily, I can say I’ve given one of my most favorite gifts.  It was a house-warming gift, and it most definitely wasn’t wine.  I specifically wanted to avoid alcohol since I thought the item over-done and generic for the occasion.  So, I did some searching and decided on …drum roll… an address stamp and other goodies like homemade wheat bread and yummy spreads :)  I was SO excited to give it to my friend!  Since I was so thrilled, I knew it was the right thing to give even if he never uses it or feigns delight.  He ended up saying thanks for the “phenomenal gift.”  Aw, warm fuzzies.

I won’t stop giving gifts and enjoying it, because I like to try to think of others.  I also like when, on occasion, no one else knows I gave an item, making the mystery of a blessing more fun.

No matter what is given or how, it takes some work and my time, but it’s worth it.  On top of that, it can be hard since I’ve definitely given things away that I’ve wanted to keep for myself yet seeing (or hearing about) the recipient’s happiness makes my day and confirms I made the right decision.  Giving is the best!

I could stop there but I’m just too thankful for a particular gift given to me, and I can’t help but think that my little gifts, whether “good” or “bad” and no matter how perfectly thoughtful they may be, greatly pale in comparison to God’s gift to all of us: sending His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins so that we can know God and have a relationship with Him.  Now that’s the ultimate, sacrificial gift.  It’s mine, and it could be yours, too.  I mean, it’s definitely one gift I’m not afraid to re-gift.

Rapid Fire

Some people don't like change.  I don't mind too much.  Actually, it seems to be quite the theme in my life these days.  So much change in so little time!

I wouldn't change it for the world! (Did you get that?)  I'm getting to see and do so much, and I definitely wouldn't be able to if I had stayed in one place.  I mean, the country we live in is immense and I'm thankful for the opportunity to explore it.

I've also come to realize I've only been traveling for less than a year yet, some days, it feels much longer.  I can't believe only two months ago I was leaving Iowa and six months ago I was leaving South Dakota.  All the while, taking time off in Texas.  It's kinda crazy. 

I miss the friends I made, the friends I left, and the cities, too.  I think of them often.  Needless to say, I'm truly grateful for all who make a true effort to keep up in some form or fashion.  For instance, just today my PT guy sent me an informative article on running for my reading pleasure.  It was helpful and made me feel loved :)  Gosh, everyone needs a stellar PT guy in their life!

Really, how can I not miss and reminisce when South Dakota was one of the best summers of my life?!  Some times it feels like a distant memory, and other times it feels like it was just the other day.  And now that I'm creeping up on my 1 year travel mark, it seems slightly unfathomable. 

Time just goes by so quickly and is most definitely super jam-packed with all sorts of events and changes.  So, two weeks to me can feel like two months!  Honest.

A friend recently told me that she heard people only remember three days out of a month.  Yikes!  Think about that.  If you're only remembering three days a month, that's only 36 days out of the year.  Whoa. 

The reason?  People are in a routine. They get used to doing the same thing and not much is varied so nothing really stands out except for a few things. 

I found that interesting and, whether fool-proof or not, I feel the opposite is happening to me right now.  Lots and lots of days stand out in the month as of late.

The reason?  I posit it is because I don't have a routine, among other things.  My routine is not having a routine…?  Or, maybe more accurately, my routine is just trying to find my next temporary one.  Ha!

I've found that my work schedule and the fitness center schedule kind of dictate what my week will look like while on an assignment.  Surely others can relate.  Still, now that I know this, I think I'm going to try to combat it and break out of the norm more often.  

Currently, West Virginia is following suit, in its own way, with the other two assignments -- mapping out a schedule, exploring my surroundings, making some friends, and learning oh so much.