Saturday, December 31, 2016

The Power of Words

realize a picture is worth 1000 words, which is probably why I like Instagram so much, but even the most simple sentence can have a profound impact. 

Words can heal or they can tear down; they can bring people together or are they can make the gap wider. There are no take backs, only apologies to try and smooth over hurt feelings. Choose wisely.

Now then, this past contract job has been the most difficult time for different reasons. Even though there was a lot of good that came from it, I decided to write things down to get me through the midst of it. I wrote phrases and whatnot on Post-it notes and stuck them to my door frame. They came from the Bible, a book I read, sermons I heard, my own thoughts, etc. Might be the first time I've really done anything like that but it was very helpful. 

I realize some things will be only for me but I still think someone could benefit from them too. So, I'll share some with you...

"Lord, I am willing to --
receive what you give 
lack what you withhold 
relinquish what you take."

"Jesus for me always clinches the deal, and I sometimes wonder why I did not listen to him in the first place."

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the LORD, is everlasting strength."

"Thank you, heavenly father, for giving me the skill, ability, and health to do my work today."

"Life isn't better because of this person or that thing. Life is better because of Christ."

"God, help me to not lose focus. Love, Me"

"God is infinitely valuable and all satisfying."

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit."

"But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation."

"Her eyes sparkled brightly and she answered with a laugh as friendly as the mailman's ring when you know there's a letter for you."

"… But it's completely accurate, and as long as the answers right, who cares if the question is wrong? If you want sense, you'll have to make it yourself."

"So many things are possible just so long as you don't know they're impossible."

"Most people do not see things as they ARE; rather, they see things as THEY are."

"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind."

"Spiritually speaking, there are no dead ends."

"Love what you have -- right now."

"Daily life now requires prayer and discernment more than knee-jerk responses towards either the conservative or liberal end of the spectrum."

"God, help my unbelief."

"Read your Bible, pray every day, and you'll grow grow grow!

"How happy are they who can resign all to him, see his hand in every dispensation, and believe that he chooses better for them then they possibly could for themselves."

"STOP. Look for the good!"

"There is a God-size hole in all of us, waiting to be filled."

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

"God, I accept your agenda for this situation, whatever that may be."

"I love you, my child. I love you. -God"

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Contagious

I read a book called "Falling Upward" by Richard Rohr given to me by a friend, who stated it was a life-changing book and given to him at a time of transition in life.  I finished it by the time I arrived in Iowa.  I read a book called "Love Does" given to me technically by my Mom, who had it on her dining room table when I went home for Christmas.  I finished it today as I'm about to leave Iowa.  Perfect, perfect, perfect timing for both! 

The first book challenged me to think outside of the box and to evaluate two halves of life.  I went through a very rough spot while here in Iowa and, a few weeks ago, reread some of that book.  To my astonishment, it was as if I was reading what just happened in my life.  I couldn't believe that I hadn't fully picked up on it while reading it the first time, but, then again, I think that's kind of the point.  It's not as if reading the book and fully comprehending what I was reading would have helped me avoid what happened.  I wouldn't wish to have missed that heartache, honest.  I had to go through it to make it real for me.  I had to fall in order to see my need for God.

I like this snippet from the book:
"The first task, which the hero or heroine thinks is the only task, is only the vehicle and warm-up act to get him or her to the real task.  He or she "falls through" what is merely his or her life situation to discover his or her Real Life which is always a much deeper river, hidden beneath the appearances.  Most people confuse their life situation with their actual life, which is an underlying flow beneath the every day events.  This deeper discovery is largely what religious people mean by "finding their soul."

Another: 
"St. Francis, who did not concentrate on attacking evil or others, but just spent his life falling, and falling many times into the good, the true, and the beautiful.  It was the only way he knew how to fall into God."

The second book is exactly what I wish my life to be, along with my blog posts :)  Each chapter is a small story with an outstanding lesson in a man's well lived life, which points to God.  For instance, the prelude to chapter 7 is "I used to think Jesus motivated us with ultimatums, but now I know He pursues us in love."  

cried.  I laughed a lot.  I thought and reflected.  I decided I want to do the same as the author. 

In the forward is the following:
"Bob Goff loves people with a force that is natural, and by natural I mean like nature, like a waterfall or wind or waves on the ocean.  He loves effortlessly, as though love packs annually in snow on the mountain, melting and rushing through him in an infinite loop.  There's no explanation for a man who can love this well save God.  I think Bob Goff knows God, and I think God's love flows through him." 

The overall theme of the book is that love does; Love does things.  From letting a complete stranger propose on his boat after a dinner on his back porch to sending an outlandish amount of flowers to a sweet old lady who ejected him from his Jeep after hitting him on the road to becoming a Consul for Uganda to encouraging his kids to be friends with world leaders to igniting a young person for a life changing role to people and words that will never be forgotten to fist fights and beyond.  What seems like the ordinary becomes a beautiful story of God's love at work, love in action.  

The author talks about not having a plan and that's where I feel I am in life, yet he thinks that's the best place to be in order to see God's bigger and better plan than I could ever imagine unfold.  This and something my Dad said while I was at home just put me at peace.  In short, my Dad said it was more than okay to not be where others think you should be, to not have what others think you should have, but rather, to live the life that God has set before you. 

I realize I have an atypical life and I'm okay with it.  I mean, having a dance party to my music can't always go down like it did tonight.  Yeah, that happened.  And amidst the fun and crazy, I want to continue to take advantage of the time that I have right now to do something I love, to see the country and world, to grow stronger both personally and professionally, to meet people along the way, to share the love that I have whether or not people know how to accept it, and see what God does. 

So, changing my attitude to reflect this truth has given me a lot of joy!  I'm choosing to see things differently, in a good way.  It's exciting!  When I get excited and when I'm happy, I get chatty and I just want to share!  It may come out in different ways towards different people but I honestly hope that it comes out as genuine, kind, compassionate, faithful, good, and more.  I hope it's as the book says, "if you are a sincere friend, folks around you will quickly understand that there's no hidden agenda and nothing on the other side of the equals sign -- just you."
 
Finding your Real Life is good. 
Falling is good. 
God is good. 

Joy is contagious.  
Passion is contagious. 
God's love is contagious. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Sweat is Fat Crying

The fitness center here has been one of the best things to happen!  It's seriously saved me and helps me practice what I preach/keep the body God gave me going!  

I've definitely become a gym rat because... what else is there to do!  So, it's obviously where I get a challenging workout but also the place where I've met the majority of my friends, which is ironic since I usually don't talk to people while I'm working out nor do I even like working out with people unless it's in a class.  Now I like it. 

I'm usually "in the zone" and people are afraid to talk to me, actually.  Whoops!  I'm just focused and on a mission!  Probably looked like that yesterday and today, both of which I really just needed the gym time to be distracted from life -- the unknown in it, the decisions that loom, the disappointments, and even the enjoyments.  I just need a break from it all and working out helps.

Praying definitely helps, too, as does talking to fellow workout partners, even just for a short time.  I mean, one lady thinks I'm smart and wants me to date her son, so that's flattering :)  We talk about diet and nutrition, which is another thing I like about the fitness center environment -- more people are motivated to be healthy and are actually interested in what I have to say about nutrition. 

Anyway, working out in the class setting also allows me to be able to listen to other's stories.  I think of the woman who moved to Iowa from California, bless her heart, because she was in foster care and now, long story short, she has had nine kids and looks absolutely amazing!  She's been working out and changed her diet drastically.  I like hearing those types of stories a lot.  

I've also learned about the awesome instructor's lives as well. One of whom lived in Texas for a time so can relate to me!  Another gives me and others a hard time and does a good, "fun" workout "that's going to suck" while also getting himself into trouble…  Haha!  See below. 

Too be sure not every class or gym time is as chatty, but then again, the swim aerobics class I attend is basically a social hour for some.  The ladies gab and I do join in sometimes, yet I want to get a good workout in and I sometimes have things to do afterwards, so I don't like to just play around.  And heaven help me if I start being a cougar like the older lady I saw last night!!  It made the class pretty hilarious lemme tell ya.  I laughed during class and then a lot afterwards when I told the guy instructor, who was clueless.  Oh, man...  Watch out. 

Back to working out.  If I'm not good and sweaty by the end of my workout, then it doesn't count in my book.  Usually not a problem, ha!  But seriously, I know it just depends on the workout.  I feel incredible after almost every yoga class and just break a baby sweat, while I'm sometimes drenched after HIIT and know I'll be sore the next day.  I like it all. 

I've tried out several classes and had forgotten how much I like the camaraderie, the instructor pushing you and encouraging you, and the good feeling after a fantastic workout.  So good.  

think I'll push myself when I do my own thing but it's not the same.  Then there's the fact, like I said, that I've been able to make friends.  It's especially nice when they all think you're about 23 years old -- may I always look younger than I am!  :)  But really, it's as if we like dying at each workout so if someone else is just as crazy to keep coming back then bam! insta-friend!

Every little thing brings back memories of when I was in college getting my health and exercise science degree.  Definitely enjoyed getting that degree at OU so much and wouldn't change it, and even thought about working as a fitness instructor.   

For now, though, I'll just continue to be thankful for such a great facility with wonderful people in it, and hope that my next job will leave me as fortunate.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The List

Every. Single. Year. The dreaded Christmas list makes its appearance.

The list of people to buy for really doesn't change, actually I've added one with my nephew coming into the world, but really, no changes in a lot of years.  So, even though the people don't change, I can't get them the same thing year after year.  Well, I could and I do for some but that's beside the point. 

I used to stress about getting everyone just the right gift, something they would enjoy and really like.  That stress, I think, was, in part, due to leaving my shopping until the absolute last minute.  Now I don't do either.

I've decided to start my shopping early like October time, though I also buy little things throughout the year if I see something and it reminds me of someone.  Honestly, I started doing that for my Mom and it's been the best!  Now, just remembering where I put the darn thing when Christmas time does roll around... 

Even as I write this, I have all my presents nicely in a row, all ready to go!  To be sure, I still have a couple gifts to get because they require a purchase in a state I'm not in but still!  Oh, happy day when everything was done and all the gift buying checked off!  Happier day was wrapping all the gifts as I thought about each person and the fact that I liked what I was giving :) 

I think the hardest people to buy for our my Dad and my Grandparents, though.  I feel like Grandparents are obvious because they have everything they could possibly need and then some, and you know everyone in the family is buying something for them so you're hard-pressed.  As for my Dad, it's just the same old story.

This actually happened.  I am not lying.  I don't lie.  Period.  Besides, you just can't make this up!

Me:  Dad, I need a Christmas list from you please!
Dad:  A plunger and an electric toothbrush.
Me:  Are you serious?!  No.  I'm not getting you a plunger. 
Me to Mom (so we both don't get him the same gift):  Are you getting Dad an electric toothbrush?
Mom:  No, it won't fit in the bathroom.
Me:  Are you serious?! The man asked for two things and you're denying me getting him one, and I'm not getting him a plunger!  Ugh. 

Classic Dad.  Asking for stuff he needs (and that costs like nothing) but never going beyond to tell us what he actually wants, like something he wouldn't buy himself ordinarily.  I did come at him with that angle but to no avail.  So, guess what he got?  

Anyway, because I'm deciding not to stress about "the perfect gift" and since I started shopping well before the week before Christmas, I'm actually enjoying Christmas a lot more.  I love the lights, the decorations, and the time with friends and family.  And most definitely the music!

This song by Jason Gray came on and I thought it perfect.  Because really, Christmas is coming yet again, and it's important to reflect on why we celebrate Christmas in the first place, which is Christ's birth -- the Messiah coming into the world!

Here is a YouTube link if you want to actually hear the song:

Here are some of the lyrics:
"Christmas is coming, the bells are ringing
Hope comes alive as music fills the air
Some say Christmas is for children and I believe it's true
Can you hear the season calling to the child inside of you?
Awaken from your slumber see with younger eyes
And be taken by the wonder that took the whole world by surprise!

Prepare ye the way
For God's own baby boy
Born to mend all broken things
And to heal the world with joy
He will heal the world with joy!

I don't want you to miss it, I know I have before 
Like the innkeeper who missed the wonder right outside his door
So open up your heart as Christmas passes through
Just in time to wake the child asleep inside of you."

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Baby, It's Freakin' Freezing Outside

Dad:  The high here is supposed to be 21. Is it cold there?
Me:  Oh my good gracious, yes!!!! It was 1° at one point today according to a friend's van!
Dad:  Wow, too cold for me. 
Me:  Yeah, me too! 

It can obviously get pretty cold in Oklahoma, which is my Dad's current location and where I grew up, and Texas can get its far share of cold weather, but I'm on a new level or maybe I just blocked out all the numbness growing up.  That or I was too busy running around in the snow, making snow angels, or sledding on the neighborhood to really notice that my face was hurting from the unforgiving wind or that my feet and hands were literally frozen.

Then you grow up.  It's a trap.  

I've dealt with ice storms and blizzards, but the past few days have been pretty brutal.  I don't like being a wimp but even the Iowans have said this is unusually cold and one of the worst storms/times.  I am still being called out for being a Texan, however, while running for the protection of the car.  Haha! 

So, when a coworker realized I only had about two weeks left here, she asked, "what would you do if you met a guy right now?!"  I didn't say anything, just shrugged my shoulders.  My answer, though, is that he should move to Texas.  Although, I should have asked how many Hallmark movies she's watched already this year.

Needless to say, I think Iowa will be the furthest north I will ever live after this taste of winter.  Yet, I am thankful to God that there was an extended fall, especially since I got to run during that time.  I also have to sincerely praise God that it has only been this terrible here at the end of my stent and that I am getting to experience such craziness in my book with sweet friends, who let me into their warm houses and who actually know how to drive in this weather!

I mean, when else would I get the time to make a super awesome train track for a spunky 5-year-old or pick a pretty shade of red to paint my nails with a 14-year-old or play card games with my coworker and friend with the above kids, or watch Christmas movies while drinking hot chocolate and chatting with a ? year old?!

I will be looking for warmer travel job locations during the winter time in the future and researching temperatures of places better.  Lesson learned.  I will also be praying for Hawaii! ;)

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Impact

My favorite coworker from Iowa invited me out last night to her oldest son's high school basketball game.  At first, she was debated on inviting me, but I am so glad she did and that I went!  First, it was like nostalgia city! Memories of playing basketball when I was in high school, the practices, my coaches, and shooting around with my brothers and Dad at home all came flooding back :)  Secondly, it made it more apparent that I am very thankful for people like her, who let me into their lives despite knowing that I likely won't be there very long.

I think that some people, upon realizing that I will only be in the city for three months, kind of shut me out to various degrees.  I understand, yet I think it is a shame.

Don't read that I think I'm the most awesome person to ever come into contact with but, rather, that you have no idea the impact someone could have on you or you them!  The relationship might be a one time good deal, for a short time, for an extended period of time, or for life.  

Seriously though, I have many one time encounters that have stuck in my mind for years, while there are some people I have known for years and hardly think of or rarely replay conversations or get the warm fuzzies of a great experience together.  I think that's just life but you get my point.

I think of the time I was in Oslo and was wishing that I had someone to travel with when, lo and behold, a girl came into the hostel right behind me. We hit it off and spent an awesome day together!

I think of the time that I spoke to the guy next to me on the plane.  I learned about interest rates and politics and what an interesting life he lives.  He told me no one's ever spoken to him on the plane and he flies a lot; I was pretty unique in his eyes and he in mine.

I think of my friend whom I met in Israel.  We had such good conversations then and, four years later, we met up again in Boston no less and again enjoyed each other's good company.

I think of my new friend, who I met here in Iowa at the gym. We've had some good conversations and he let me word vomit on him about my apartment situation and job.  In the end, he said I needed to make some decisions and he was right, so that night I did. 

I think of my older friend whom I wouldn't have gotten to know if I had given in and quit playing soccer one season.  He has also given me food for thought and challenged me in ways he surely will never know.  (I also think this example is good at showing that, even though you might not be in a particular situation or place that you want to be, there is still good that can come from it.)

The examples like that could go on.  I have no idea if I'll see those people again or be super close with them but I'm most definitely glad I met them.  I mean, you just never know!  I wasn't sure I'd see my Israel friend again but we did and I'm sure we'll see each other again in the future. 

Things, like meeting people, happen for a reason in my book.  Maybe it is just that one encounter but, at that time, they say something that sticks in your mind or challenges you or lifts you up.  Maybe you simply needed that good conversation or that friendly smile or that piece of advice or that different perspective.  

I've definitely needed and struggled with needing someone to do something with.  I've better learned to be okay with being alone but also asking someone to join me in what I'm doing or wanting to do.  They can be super cool and join or they can be super lame and not. ;)  I will still enjoy the activity, for sure :)

This travel thing and those who've shown an interest in me have challenged me to be more aware and reach out to those who might be new to the area or new to the class or new to the church service, or whatever.  I'll definitely take that away with me. 

So, while I might be unique right now by only staying in a place for three months at a time, the people like my coworker and swim class friends are such a blessing, and I will always remember them.  I will see them again.  

Monday, December 5, 2016

Those Three Little Words

Joe Fox: What happened with that guy at the café?
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. 
Joe: But you're crazy about him. 
Kathleen: Yes, I am.
Joe: Well, why don't you run off with him? What are you waiting for?
Kathleen: I don't actually know him. (cringe)
Joe: Really?
Kathleen: I only know him through the, uh… You're not going to believe this…
Joe: Oh, let me guess. Through the Internet?
Kathleen: Yes. 
Joe: Hmm. You've... got mail. 
Kathleen: Yes! 
Joe: some very powerful words.
Kathleen: Yes...

Don't you just love that movie?! Classic.  And so good. 

I like email, don't get me wrong.  But I like snail mail even more!  I like to think people like things just as much as me, so I like to send things or give things as if getting mail.  So fun!  Oh, if you don't like getting snail mail, that's weird and you should stop reading this post.

I think of that movie ever so often when I actually do get snail mail, and it happened today!  I got mail!!  Woohoo!  Now maybe I won't  unconsciously check the mailbox in the morning as if mail just magically appeared overnight... cause that's happened. 

Now I have things to put around my dull place to think of the people whom I enjoy and love :) so thanks to those who've sent or given me stuff while I'm away!

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Used

When you read the Bible and you've heard the Bible stories before, sometimes you miss or take for granted the beauty that it holds. 

Sometimes when you hear of just one person's life it can be muted or just nice in the moment, if that makes sense, but this morning I heard a list of people in the Bible that God greatly used.  It opened my eyes and touched my heart. 

It went something like this:

Noah was a drunkard.
Abraham was too old to have kids.
Moses was a murder and stutterer. 
Joseph was abused.
King David was a murder and an adulterer. 
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer. 
Saul was too religious. 
Martha was a worrier.
Peter denied Christ three times.
Rahab was a prostitute.
Zacchaeus was too small.
Jeremiah was too young.
Elijah was suicidal.
Lazarus was dead.
And more. 

I thought of how I might be described and what I want to actually be remembered for.  Whoa.  Parts of my lifestyle need to change, parts of my thinking need to change, parts of my beliefs of God need to change, etc. Thankfully, I know they can.

But really, praise God that He can and will use anyone, like you and me!