What's That Ringing?

When I was younger, my brothers and I would race to answer the phone.  Imagine two, sometimes three, kiddos jumping off the bed, sliding in our socks on the concrete floor, slamming into walls, yelling “I’ll get it!!,” and even dodging some throwing of the elbows.  When one of us won, we could barely answer sometimes because we were out of breath!

Well, it’s not like the person calling was every really calling for us; it was for the thrill and most definitely to be first.  When the call was for us, typically our grandparents when we were real young, I liked getting twisted up in the enormously long cord one of our phones had.  As I got older, we moved on to a cordless phone.  Don’t worry, us kids still raced to get it, and we dropped that phone a good-gracious amount of times, too.  When I won and answered, I would get confused for my Mom.  “No, I’m sorry this isn’t her.  May I take a message?” or “No, this isn’t her.  Hold on just a minute and I’ll get her.”  “Mom, (sigh) it’s for you.”  But nowadays, we no longer race and we all have cell phones.

Get this: I don’t really care to have a phone.

I basically only have an iphone because I got a super sweet Black Friday deal on it.  It will also probably be the last phone I get, since I really only use it to make phone calls, to listen to music, and to navigate my way through the unknown with the GPS.  Don't get me wrong, my phone is nice to have and I like it for its features, yet it’s not a necessity to me. 

I’ve been known to forget my phone for the day (or even days) or to knowingly leave it behind because I think 1) no one is really going to call me, 2) I know where I’m going and/or, 3) I don’t need it. 

I also have a habit of letting my phone die.  Yep, for the same three reasons.  Plus, I like to re-charge my phone once it dies or is on the verge of dying.  That might be weird to some (or foreign if you’re in the group that has to charge their phone daily) yet it suits me just fine.

The one time I couldn’t find my phone and halfway needed it was when I was in a wreck.  However, the super nice policeman drove me home.  So, in the end, I didn’t need it --  reason #3!  He, of course, had a phone and offered to let me use it to call someone, but, c’mon, these days no one memorizes anyone’s number!  Sad but true… and should make a come back.

Something else that should make a come back is talking on the phone.  Yeah, that’s right, making a phone call.  Not a text.  A call.  It’s like a lost art.  …I kinda want to go back to those younger days of racing to the phone and then chatting.  Granted, talking on the phone is now one of many forms of getting a hold of someone or catching up or making plans or whatever, but it seems to be a last resort.  Why is that? 

Now, even though I don’t care to have a phone on me at all times, I still really enjoy talking on the phone with people.  It’s especially nice if I can’t see them in person regularly since that tops my list of ways to catch up with people.  There’s a tie for second between skyping and a phone call, and then every other thing like e-mail, texts, letters, etc. falling into third place. 

Back to the moral of the story: talking on the phone… It cuts out quite a bit of miscommunication and is more efficient.  It’s also much more personable since you can hear the other person’s voice.  Hearing a voice not only gives you inflection and, therefore, meaning to words but also makes you feel good or loved.  Am I right??  For instance, haven’t we all thought, “I’m glad I heard them say that because if I had read it I would have thought they meant something completely different!” or haven’t we all said, “I miss hearing your voice!”?  I mean, hearing someone’s words instead of guessing their tone and meaning is always the better choice.

This brings me to texting.

I like texting.  I don’t like texting.  I’ll explain.

Texting is useful.  

I text to see how friends are doing in between our normal talks or to set up a time to talk via phone or skype.  For my pilot friend, for instance, I randomly text him “Hey!  Are you alive?!”  I’m joking but not really.  He responds with a “doing great and about to go fly” kind of response, which I’m glad for. 

I also text like everyone else in order to confirm details, get exact directions/addresses, or “talk” while in a setting that’s non-conducive to talking out loud on the phone.  What gets me, though, is the rapid-fire texting (the kind that isn’t the fun, flirty stuff, of course).  If you’re responding in seconds, just pick up the phone.  And, of course, if you’re typing what you want to say but get frustrated because it’s too long or cumbersome, just call. 

This brings me to the fact that texts dumb-down a conversation in the sense that one avoids “long” texts, making short-hand reign or just getting used to barely scratching the surface of a subject or story.  You feel me, right?  There have been countless times when I’ve caught myself saying, “this would be so much better in person!” because the story or fun fact needs life, needs to be fully expressed in all its wordy glory.

Texting is convenient. 

I mean, one of the beauties of texting is that it allows you to get back to someone when you can, right?  Yet, a text signals to me that it doesn’t warrant an immediate response or that it’s not super important.  If you wanted an immediate response, if you wanted to avoid confusion, or if it is an emergency, you’d call.  Texting can also sometimes be a cop-out.  Not to pick on the guys, but a classic example is texting a girl to ask her out versus calling her.  Major points if you call, guys, let me tell ya!

There is, however, a timeliness factor.  For me, I try to answer my texts quickly so that I don’t forget to respond (it happens!).  Also, I try to respond in a timely manner to let the other person know that they’re worth it, that they’re not being ignored.  Heck, I’ll send “let me get back to you” texts or “okay, cool” texts even though they may not be completely necessary since I want the other person to know that I read their text, agree, am down with the plan, or whatever.  Take 2 minutes, at most, to type a response!  If you can’t take a little time or you do forget, at least say something along the lines of “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond.  Life is crazy with x, y, z.”  It makes it easier to forgive someone because I understand that life gets busy.  It’s also more easily forgiven because a response did eventually come. 

Texting is fun.

The fun part is when you’re texting someone you like or them you -- one guy got me to text a zillion times more than I ever have! -- yet there’s a balance. 

Here’s a bad example: a guy asked for my number under the pretense that a group was getting together, and I gave him my number.  He texted to ask me out – without the group - and I ended up saying yes.  He didn’t call or text before or after the date.  Lame.  Then when he texted again to go out again, I said no.  There’s more to why I said no but the gist is that there was no attention or attempt. 

Here’s a great example: a guy asked for my number in a cute way (not a cheesy pick-up line or anything, just with good ol’ humor), and I gave it to him.  He then called (as stated above, major points here) and asked me out, and I said yes.  He then texted me leading up to the date in a casual yet interested way (i.e. not every 5 seconds because he’s nervous or insecure but enough to indicate he was looking forward to the date and interested in me).  He texted me after the date as well. 

Don’t even get me started about the ominous group text!  Ugh!  Just remember, I think texts are useful, convenient, and fun, just not ideal in some situations.  In the end, they can’t convey tone and meaning (which is really important!) like someone’s voice and there should be a balance between receiving no texts and receiving constant texts and that being the only form of communication.

Now then, despite all this soapbox-like talk (just gotta get it out sometimes), I can honestly say that I’ve grown.  Yep, I am always learning, growing, and trying to improve, so the realm of texting is not off-limits!  So, one area of growth has been being patient with people getting back to me whatever the form of communication may be.  I just want to stay connected to the people I love.  Plus, “It’s not all about you, Jess” from a bestie reverberates in my head.  Hard words to swallow, but they speak truth.

Insecurity

Insecurity is rampant.  There’s no way around it.  And I am not immune.

While doing a book study on “So Long, Insecurity” by Beth Moore with some awesome ladies, I’ve realized how crippling and how pervasive my insecurity really is.  Before starting, I honestly didn’t think it was a problem for me.  Page after page of reading proved wrong. 

It’s like a knife is cutting into my heart and head to shine a light on the grossness.  Thankfully, God is the surgeon and is lovingly carving it out.

Although not ever area of my life is polluted with insecurity (praise God!), the book has helped me pinpoint certain areas where it is and then provided practical and Biblical ways to beat it.  The chapter I just finished included a lot of stories that women had written to Beth.  Some of the stories I had never experienced or even thought of as having roots in insecurity, some were warnings to be heeded, and some could have been penned by yours truly.

A few of the story headlines and words from Beth or from the stories that jumped out at me were the following:

“We gnaw on a relationship like a dog on a bone.  We worry a detail half to death out of insecurity, get no response, and then overcommunicate…”

“I tried my best to get it all under my control, to be in charge and make things just the way I wanted them to be.  Do you know how tiring that is?”

“Insecurity can veil our vision and blind us to how blessed we are.”

“Insecurity can talk us into doing things we don’t even want to do.”

“Not only can insecurity talk us into disastrous relationships, it can talk us out of great ones.”

“Incidentally, research shows that one mark of insecurity is the urge to lie when someone asks us if we know someone we don’t, remember something we can’t, or have ever heard of something we haven’t.”

“Insecurity makes us settle.”

“But the greatest regret I have is that insecurity has kept me from so many things.  It has kept me from instigating friendships that I desperately needed, kept me from pursuing career goals that I know God planted in my heart, and kept me from trying new things that would have been good for me.”

Thinking back to some of the things I’ve done makes me cringe and shake my head with embarrassment.  Overcommunicating in relationships…  Doing things I didn’t really want to do…  Trying to control people or situations…  Acting like I know what the heck someone is talking about…  

I’ve asked for forgiveness and for specific insecurities to not have their way.  Then, when specific people come to mind, like today, I pray for them as well – that they would be unscathed by my stupidity that was rooted in insecurity and that God would use our relationship, as ugly as it may have been at times, to be for their/our good.  A sweet little gift unbeknownst to one such person was the “liking” of a FB status, which made me think that God was already at work. 

Fighting insecurity is a hard battle, but it is beatable.

At the end of the chapter, Beth gives a good word:

“God Himself formed human emotions.  He knows how easily the heart can be broken.  The mind can be marred.  He knows life hurts… because people hurt… and then hurt people.  He also knows the resilience with which He made us and the innate capacity within each one of us to be restored.  Remade.  He knows we are capable of loving even when we feel unloved because He loves us enough to cover those who don’t.  He knows we are not nearly as fragile as we think we are, but will act like who we believe ourselves to be.  He knows we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary, and not just in spite of where we’ve been, but because of it.  God knows we’re insecure.  But we do not need to be.  He has enough security for both of us, and for those of us who call Christ Savior, He slipped His own secure Spirit within our simple jars of clay.”

Go Army ...?

You know that moment when you've been pursuing something for awhile and you forget about it because you're waiting for the other party to respond?  Then they finally do, and it's positive, so you think back, "what the heck did I say to get them to accept me?!".  It just happened to me.  Thankfully, I saved what I said:

My passion as a Registered Dietitian is to assist a wide range of people to lead longer, healthier lives through sound nutritional practices.  I desire to eat well and be healthy so that I can live a fulfilling life, and I would love to share this mentality with others and offer practical ways to accomplish it.  Thus, having the opportunity to treat and prevent diseases, offer education on nutrition, advocate best practices from reliable research, properly assess nutritional needs, or supervise and create meals only reinforces my decision to make a difference in society and in individuals through dietetics.

While I was growing up, living a healthy lifestyle did not seem unusual because my family consciously made nutritious choices in order to help my oldest brother, Jordan, improve his chronic health condition.  Living with a sick sibling gave me a unique perspective on health, and I realized that what a person eats could help or hurt his or her wellbeing.  This mentality stayed with me as I went through high school and college.  I pursued a Bachelor’s in Health and Exercise Science, which laid a solid foundation for my future health profession.  This degree’s curriculum provided a varied and broad approach to health by presenting benefits, concerns, and ways to better promote wellbeing so that people can reach their optimal health.  A required class was Introductory to Nutrition, which sparked my desire to become an R.D. in order to enable people to be healthier through better food and life choices.  In the end, this degree supported my endeavor to pursue dietetics in graduate school.

As a graduate student, my learning became more concentrated but no less rich.  My knowledge has deepened through the University of Oklahoma’s program offering excellent courses to complete the D.P.D. requirements, whether the class was Medical Nutrition Therapy (MNT), Non-energy Nutrients, or Nutrition Management.  I also stretched myself by taking courses outside my discipline to gain a broader perspective, to discover new loves, and to gain a Master of Science degree.  For example, I participated in a Preparing Future Faculty Program, which opened my eyes to the world of teaching while fostering a love for it.  The program supplied numerous opportunities to improve my presentations skills, which are important for counseling individuals or educating groups.  In addition, an independent study course allowed me to expand on my summer trip to Israel in regards to global health, food, and nutrition and to blend my love for dietetics with traveling, experiencing different cultures, and learning from others’ perspectives.

 Throughout my life, I have demonstrated a positive attitude, loyalty, being a team player, diligence, adaptability to new places and situations, and a desire to help others of any age.  I always strive to be responsible in all areas of life and to look for ways to learn and challenge myself.  These characteristics are not only confirmed by others but are also evident in my pursuit of higher education, running marathons, joyful personality, love for travel, and work ethic. 

With everything that has helped to mold the young woman that I am today – family dynamics, years of education, outstanding professors, experiences abroad, extracurricular activities, various jobs, encouraging friends – I anticipate my future in the US Army to further my personal and career development.  Working with the military would be an honor and a very meaningful way to serve my country as I share my skills and passion.  I believe that joining the US Army would allow me to flourish personally as well as professionally.  Becoming a US Army Reservist, specifically, would provide unique opportunities to work with elite individuals, to participate in humanitarian missions, to serve our great country, and more.  Furthermore, since I aspire to be patient-centered in my work as well as a sound interdisciplinary team member, I would love the opportunity to collaborate with the best medical staff in order to improve the health and wellbeing of our nation’s soldiers and veterans, who have sacrificed so much to keep our country safe and free.

Again, I am excited to be considered for an Army Reserve RD position and look forward to gaining more knowledge and expertise, which I will in turn use to better other people’s lives.  Thank you for your time and consideration.

The above is one piece of my application to the Army.  Now to decide if or when I sign the dotted line...