What's That Ringing?

When I was younger, my brothers and I would race to answer the phone.  Imagine two, sometimes three, kiddos jumping off the bed, sliding in our socks on the concrete floor, slamming into walls, yelling “I’ll get it!!,” and even dodging some throwing of the elbows.  When one of us won, we could barely answer sometimes because we were out of breath!

Well, it’s not like the person calling was every really calling for us; it was for the thrill and most definitely to be first.  When the call was for us, typically our grandparents when we were real young, I liked getting twisted up in the enormously long cord one of our phones had.  As I got older, we moved on to a cordless phone.  Don’t worry, us kids still raced to get it, and we dropped that phone a good-gracious amount of times, too.  When I won and answered, I would get confused for my Mom.  “No, I’m sorry this isn’t her.  May I take a message?” or “No, this isn’t her.  Hold on just a minute and I’ll get her.”  “Mom, (sigh) it’s for you.”  But nowadays, we no longer race and we all have cell phones.

Get this: I don’t really care to have a phone.

I basically only have an iphone because I got a super sweet Black Friday deal on it.  It will also probably be the last phone I get, since I really only use it to make phone calls, to listen to music, and to navigate my way through the unknown with the GPS.  Don't get me wrong, my phone is nice to have and I like it for its features, yet it’s not a necessity to me. 

I’ve been known to forget my phone for the day (or even days) or to knowingly leave it behind because I think 1) no one is really going to call me, 2) I know where I’m going and/or, 3) I don’t need it. 

I also have a habit of letting my phone die.  Yep, for the same three reasons.  Plus, I like to re-charge my phone once it dies or is on the verge of dying.  That might be weird to some (or foreign if you’re in the group that has to charge their phone daily) yet it suits me just fine.

The one time I couldn’t find my phone and halfway needed it was when I was in a wreck.  However, the super nice policeman drove me home.  So, in the end, I didn’t need it --  reason #3!  He, of course, had a phone and offered to let me use it to call someone, but, c’mon, these days no one memorizes anyone’s number!  Sad but true… and should make a come back.

Something else that should make a come back is talking on the phone.  Yeah, that’s right, making a phone call.  Not a text.  A call.  It’s like a lost art.  …I kinda want to go back to those younger days of racing to the phone and then chatting.  Granted, talking on the phone is now one of many forms of getting a hold of someone or catching up or making plans or whatever, but it seems to be a last resort.  Why is that? 

Now, even though I don’t care to have a phone on me at all times, I still really enjoy talking on the phone with people.  It’s especially nice if I can’t see them in person regularly since that tops my list of ways to catch up with people.  There’s a tie for second between skyping and a phone call, and then every other thing like e-mail, texts, letters, etc. falling into third place. 

Back to the moral of the story: talking on the phone… It cuts out quite a bit of miscommunication and is more efficient.  It’s also much more personable since you can hear the other person’s voice.  Hearing a voice not only gives you inflection and, therefore, meaning to words but also makes you feel good or loved.  Am I right??  For instance, haven’t we all thought, “I’m glad I heard them say that because if I had read it I would have thought they meant something completely different!” or haven’t we all said, “I miss hearing your voice!”?  I mean, hearing someone’s words instead of guessing their tone and meaning is always the better choice.

This brings me to texting.

I like texting.  I don’t like texting.  I’ll explain.

Texting is useful.  

I text to see how friends are doing in between our normal talks or to set up a time to talk via phone or skype.  For my pilot friend, for instance, I randomly text him “Hey!  Are you alive?!”  I’m joking but not really.  He responds with a “doing great and about to go fly” kind of response, which I’m glad for. 

I also text like everyone else in order to confirm details, get exact directions/addresses, or “talk” while in a setting that’s non-conducive to talking out loud on the phone.  What gets me, though, is the rapid-fire texting (the kind that isn’t the fun, flirty stuff, of course).  If you’re responding in seconds, just pick up the phone.  And, of course, if you’re typing what you want to say but get frustrated because it’s too long or cumbersome, just call. 

This brings me to the fact that texts dumb-down a conversation in the sense that one avoids “long” texts, making short-hand reign or just getting used to barely scratching the surface of a subject or story.  You feel me, right?  There have been countless times when I’ve caught myself saying, “this would be so much better in person!” because the story or fun fact needs life, needs to be fully expressed in all its wordy glory.

Texting is convenient. 

I mean, one of the beauties of texting is that it allows you to get back to someone when you can, right?  Yet, a text signals to me that it doesn’t warrant an immediate response or that it’s not super important.  If you wanted an immediate response, if you wanted to avoid confusion, or if it is an emergency, you’d call.  Texting can also sometimes be a cop-out.  Not to pick on the guys, but a classic example is texting a girl to ask her out versus calling her.  Major points if you call, guys, let me tell ya!

There is, however, a timeliness factor.  For me, I try to answer my texts quickly so that I don’t forget to respond (it happens!).  Also, I try to respond in a timely manner to let the other person know that they’re worth it, that they’re not being ignored.  Heck, I’ll send “let me get back to you” texts or “okay, cool” texts even though they may not be completely necessary since I want the other person to know that I read their text, agree, am down with the plan, or whatever.  Take 2 minutes, at most, to type a response!  If you can’t take a little time or you do forget, at least say something along the lines of “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond.  Life is crazy with x, y, z.”  It makes it easier to forgive someone because I understand that life gets busy.  It’s also more easily forgiven because a response did eventually come. 

Texting is fun.

The fun part is when you’re texting someone you like or them you -- one guy got me to text a zillion times more than I ever have! -- yet there’s a balance. 

Here’s a bad example: a guy asked for my number under the pretense that a group was getting together, and I gave him my number.  He texted to ask me out – without the group - and I ended up saying yes.  He didn’t call or text before or after the date.  Lame.  Then when he texted again to go out again, I said no.  There’s more to why I said no but the gist is that there was no attention or attempt. 

Here’s a great example: a guy asked for my number in a cute way (not a cheesy pick-up line or anything, just with good ol’ humor), and I gave it to him.  He then called (as stated above, major points here) and asked me out, and I said yes.  He then texted me leading up to the date in a casual yet interested way (i.e. not every 5 seconds because he’s nervous or insecure but enough to indicate he was looking forward to the date and interested in me).  He texted me after the date as well. 

Don’t even get me started about the ominous group text!  Ugh!  Just remember, I think texts are useful, convenient, and fun, just not ideal in some situations.  In the end, they can’t convey tone and meaning (which is really important!) like someone’s voice and there should be a balance between receiving no texts and receiving constant texts and that being the only form of communication.

Now then, despite all this soapbox-like talk (just gotta get it out sometimes), I can honestly say that I’ve grown.  Yep, I am always learning, growing, and trying to improve, so the realm of texting is not off-limits!  So, one area of growth has been being patient with people getting back to me whatever the form of communication may be.  I just want to stay connected to the people I love.  Plus, “It’s not all about you, Jess” from a bestie reverberates in my head.  Hard words to swallow, but they speak truth.