Actually, it's more like I'm on a huge struggle bus with them and one by one they take the wheel. They either careen me off the edge of a cliff, smash me into a tree, plow me into a river to slowly drown, or... you get the picture. The worst news is that it won't stop and I'm not exactly sure how to ensure they will.
I know that all my needs can't be met by another person or another thing but only in Christ. I know I am deeply loved by Christ, so I already have the greatest love story. I know things can be only temporary and can be a source of learning. I know a lot of truths, honestly, but it's not stopping the blows right now. Although, it's good to be reminded of them to elevate things, renew ones mind, and know, broadly speaking, "this too shall pass."
Some things that run through my mind: I think of my job not being what I expected, my health not being where I expected it to be, my emotions not being at all what I expected, my boyfriend not saying or doing what I expected, and the list goes on. I'm sure others can relate.
I'll give a couple, specific examples that come to mind. One being my health. I just figured I was in good shape and that my knee was getting better but, according to my handy-dandy, new fitness watch and my episode of sheer pain tonight with my knee, I am absolutely nowhere near where I want to be or expected to be at age 30. Whoever said their 30s were their best fitness years must be on crack. The other example is with my boyfriend. I expected him to be willfully social, for him to always be happy/want to see me, and to talk on the phone. Yeah, no.
Hear me out, I am healthy overall and my boyfriend does really care about me. There are seemingly a lot of factors, though I blame those dang expectations!! (Or maybe just not being able to read my boyfriend's mind or him mine! Ha!)
I've heard expectations are "premeditated resentments." However, thankfully, I don't think I've gotten that far. Yet I will say, I have definitely been disappointed.
I thought I'd always be running, whether a marathon or a 5K. I thought I'd talk to my boyfriend on the phone for hours on end like I did with my high school crush or get a visit with a hug and kiss. I have my theories as to why none of these things happen regularly (and why I expect them to happen) but a theory won't necessarily help me decrease the disappointment.
I need help and I'm not afraid to admit it. Anyone with some biblical wisdom on dealing with expectations, by all means speak up!
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