Welcome 2018! ...I think

It's 11 days into the new year and I can't decide if I like it.  I have on rotation the following: 

"This is going to be a good year!"

"I've got this!" 

"Chin up, it's only been 11 days." 

"I think it's time Jesus comes back."

Some have New Year's solid resolutions and others simply start the new year fresh, like a clean slate has been given.  While still others see "just another day."  This year, I'm falling into that last camp.  Ugh. 

Don't get me wrong, I have already seen in 11 short days God's goodness through things I've had to work through or through the people God has placed in my life to speak to me.  I have also had a switch flipped at work that includes one thing coming in after the other along with personal disappointment.

Things seem to be in extremes, either high or low, which stinks.  I feel bipolar!  (I'm not but thanks for the concern)  I'll isolate just today.  One low was, when I was filling out a work survey, I couldn't think of what I considered my greatest accomplishment to date.  Nothing came to mind, and I can't even think of what I scrounged up to put even as I'm writing this.  Another low was the feeling of not being loved.  I struggle with "Well, I would that." amongst other things.  Maybe it is true I'd do what I think they should have done but they're not me.  They can't read my mind, and they can't completely fill that hole of mine labeled love.  On the brighter and lighter side, one high was exercising since its a joy and it definitely is a stress reliever.  I went to the pool and talked to a friend and later I had my cycling class, in which I'm pretty sure I killed some people.  I mean, they are just dying to come back!  Haha!  Another high was going to my Bible study and yet another was a combo.  I finished talking with my boyfriend then turned on my music to a song I hadn't heard in forever -- can you say dance party?!

I'll delve into the Bible study, as God's word is always timely.  We are in Romans 8, which is "superlatively great" and this week covered life through the Spirit, our future glory, and being secure in God's love.  There were such good things in the notes!  Some that stuck out to me was "In our Father's hands, even hardship and suffering may surprise us with a deep certainty of God's presence, love and fatherly care" and "Believers cannot be content until we repent and go back to following Jesus" and "Remember that God made you a new creation in Christ with a new identity, new desires and new freedoms for a new destiny."  

Considering my answer to the question "What are you waiting and hoping, and why?" was "I am waiting for no more pain, struggles, or disappointments -- life is hard!" surely demonstrates that I needed this lesson and the above highlights.  A different question asked to reflect on how the Holy Spirit works in a believer's life and the way He has been working in yours through specific verses.  From Romans 8:26-27, it speaks of prayer and not knowing what to say, yet, despite our weakness, God searches the heart and communicates with the Spirit, who intercedes on our behalf.  That is kind of a mystery to me but I do know I don't have all the answers and I know I am weak a lot of the time. 

These truths were good to study, hear, discuss, and read.  The first one listed above about hardships deepening our relationship with God got me.  The other that really tugged at my heart strings was "When God takes us into His family, He welcomes us to approach Him eagerly as our good Father.  Picture the reality of your holy Father looking upon you from heaven declaring, 'That's my child!'"  Not only did I think of the lyrics of the song "Good Good Father," which I like, but also the fact that God loves me as His child and He alone completely fills me in absolutely every life area.  I also found reassurance that God is proud of me, like a father is of his child, for the smallest of things.

Having highs and lows is rough but keeping my eyes on Christ makes me level.  Bring it on 2018!