Surely there's been a time in life when you wished there was a fast forward button. You wanted a way to get past things usually because they were unpleasant, taking too long for your timeline or agenda, things would be better after it was over, or the like. There have been plenty of these times for me, and I most definitely would have pushed the button! Sometimes multiple times so it goes super fast. You know what I'm talking about.
In the end, I'm glad such a button doesn't exist. I mean, what if I didn't hit play at the right time?! Because we've all done that with the remote! And we all know a life rewind button doesn't exist. But seriously, think of all the lessons, talks, relationships, thoughts, prayers, learning, and so on, we would miss.
I'm currently searching for the nonexistent fast forward button in the hopes I'll be less stressed, I'll see where life is going, and I'll be relieved it all does work out [how I hope it does]. And that's just it. I feel like I don't have control of all of life's things at this moment (as if I ever do) and I'm stressin' out. Bottom line, I'm not trusting God. It's hard to swallow ...I'm trying to say yes to my God-given lesson and work through it as well as trust He will see everything to it's finish.
As if a situation weren't bad enough, I also feel as though I want to push a fast forward button on my boyfriend. I suppose I think it would be easier if we sped up so that I would currently be with the version of him in, say, 10 years. We will have known each other longer and thus we hopefully wouldn't disagree as much or we would at least know what the other would say/do/prefer etc. more often to avoid conflict and simply just enjoy more moments together. Side note: we are truly very happy together and do not always have disagreements or conflicts and, when we do, we work through them. Now then, I know conflict is inevitable since we are two different people, for which I don't need to go into more examples. The sheer fact that I'm a woman and he is a man should suffice by leaps and bounds.
Yet, by pushing him to this future self now (maybe that version will exist...? ...but I'm going to go with it not since I've concocted that version in my head and God knows better how He will actually mold and change him), I'm getting nowhere really. It's like I'm pushing him to be at 75mph when he is at 25mph. He doesn't want to speed up every time, but in some ways and instances he does speed up. In others, I'm holding out that it's possible when he's ready. However, I can also see my 75mph slowing a bit to more match his speed.
Will we ever match? I don't know but maybe that's the point, too. Don't give up on the other racer(s) but do enjoy the ride wherever you are in it.
I do know I'm most definitely missing out on the version of him with me today as well as the joy, love, learning, and more that is happening now. So, I'm going to pray and read my Bible and/or devotional, which had a timely verse today:
"I am leaving you with a gift – – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."
John 14:27 NLT
And I'll also be taking a chill pill while not searching for that button anymore!
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