FOMO

FOMO. 

It’s real, yo.  And I was totally called out on it!  I was texting a friend in regards to a relationship and how unsure I was about the future.  They said FOMO (stands for "fear of missing out" for those, like me, who are acronym illiterate sometimes)… and that everyone has it!

Well, that struck me, especially since I decided a few years back that I wasn’t going to live in fear.  It’s beyond crippling since it can seep into every facet of life, be it relationships, work, personal health, family, life goals, etc. etc. etc.  Fear also possibly the number one thing Satan uses against God’s children so that we don’t accomplish what we are meant to do – to love and glorify God while bringing others to Him.

If you don’t know me, I’m stubborn.  So, I decided I wasn’t going to let fear (or FOMO or whatever) win.  I stepped out and got into a dating relationship. 

Obviously, beating fear was not the reason to get into this relationship.  It was just a hurdle that needed to be overcome.  I wrestled with other things, too, which is a reason why I think getting into the relationship as well as the pre-relationship phase was good and necessary.  I answered some questions like,

“What if it doesn’t work out??”  So be it.  At least we tried.  I thought of several things: 1) as a good friend once said, “There are how many people in the world?!  And you’re only supposed to end up with one, so you’re gonna to be saying ‘no’ to a lot of people!” and 2) I figured we could still be friends even if it didn’t work since that’s my track record.  3) I might have felt like a hypocrite because I know I’ve said to a friend who would be getting into a healthy relationship, “If you really like her, go for it! You never know… and at least you tried.”

“Why even date this guy?”  To see if there’s zing-pow, of course!!  (I have a whole theory on zing-pow that only some have the privilege of knowing…)  So, I could take the time to get to know a guy who impressed me with his character and shared mutual interests and see where things went or not. 

“What if I actually fall for this guy??” (but in the sense that I fall and he doesn’t)  Déjà vu.  It will hurt but surely not as bad since I was on my guard, whether that was good or bad, I’m not sure.  Still though, there has to be some good to come from it if it did end up like that, just like the other time, even if it is just a clear “okay, you’re not for me; I can move on” kinda good.

“Am I willing to not be selfish?  I love my single life.  I can do what I want, when I want.  I also happen to like the dating life.  I can do what I want with a guy I like :)  Yes, there is give and take.  There were also schedule hash-outs to give him part of my day so that we could get to know one another.  It worked out in a good way.

“Am I willing to open up?”  Boy, isn’t it easy to tell someone only what you want them to know?  It might be even easier these days with social media.  Everyone has skeletons in the closet and is scared of rejection.  For me, I think that I’m more of a cracked open book.  I will answer questions honestly and pretty much to their fullest extent if prompted.  In other words, I’m not good at just offering up information (unless they shared something that I have a similar story on or I write it in this blog, apparently, haha!).

New questions will come as I move forward, since every guy is different as well as the time I meet them, and these questions will most likely be re-visited.  Thankfully, I've at least thought about them.

In the end, I don’t regret getting into the relationship neither do I regret getting out of the relationship.   Both of these were good for me and for him, in the long run.

I know I can live my life in fear not just in relationships, as I highlighted here.  However, I also know that I don’t want to live in fear nor do I have to.  Realizing what the real issue, what the root cause of the fear truly is and then tackling it with God is the only way to go about it.  I’m a work in progress to be sure yet have the best One molding me!