Guy Theory

Boy meets girl.  It happens everyday. Pretty sure that's from a commercial back in the day, but surely it can be that simple.  Guy goes after girl and gets her.  And let's tack on they live happily ever after for kicks and giggles.

I think it comes down to the guy really wanting a relationship with the girl.  Yes, the girl has a choice and has to want the relationship as well but, for all intents and purposes, I'm talking about initiating and securing the deal, which is the guy's part I think.  I'm old-fashioned maybe but, even still, I think it works better when the guy sticks his neck out on the line first.

I know the fear of rejection is very high.  I also know the nerves can make you a wreck.  I know because I've done it!  I've had to ask a guy to dance or to a Sadie Hawkins dance, among other situations in life where I was the one under pressure.  To me, that's just part of the man's role.

On the flipside of one-sided risk-taking however, the girl also has to take a risk in the accepting, which may feel greater depending on the request.  For example, what if the guy  is moving away and asks for the girl to join?  That's a lot! (especially if he hasn't put a ring on it!). The girl has to decide if she sees the relationship going somewhere, has to find a job, has to uproot, find new friends, etc. It might be the last place on earth one expected to be but if the guy was worth it... I mean, you do stupid stuff for people you love, right?

I digress.  To me, it's simple.  I think If the guy really wants the girl, he'd do whatever it takes to get her.  That's my theory.

If you have any insight or comments, please let me know!  I'm all ears.  Seriously.

Sidenote: to all you science people out there, I know this is not really a theory but a hypothesis.  I need to test it and go through the motions before it is a legit theory.  It just sounds better to say theory in my head :)

I've heard of a couple getting together and staying together after the guy meets the girl two weeks before he leaves.  I've heard of a couple dating and eventually marrying after meeting basically a day before he left to go to another state far away.  I read about a guy who did ridiculous (and funny) things, like a gigantic Valentine's Day card, to get the attention of his now wife, even though she said she would not date him.  I heard a college professor say he dated his now wife super long distance – – she lived in a completely different country but they would take turns visiting each other.  I heard a guy say, he doesn't dance but he'll dance for only one girl. 

"I don't dance, but here I am

Spinning you around and around in circles

It ain't my style, but I don't care

I'd do anything with you anywhere

Yes, you got me in the palm of your hand

'Cause, I don't dance"

That's a country song, so it has to be true.  Right?!

As someone else put it, I'm curious as to the extent of what a guy would go to for the girl who has "the it factor" or, as I say, has zing-pow ...before she gets away.  Because you know she will.  No girl should wait around for a guy nor should she move, like in the example above, if the guy has said nothing (or possibly even if there's no ring!).  I would not move somewhere for a chance to have a chance with a guy.  There is a line of how much stupid I will let myself go through. 

Obviously the guy's exertion will be different for every guy.  The amount of things he's willing to do or give up will vary.  But isn't that underlying drive to get the girl universal?  To do what it takes to get her?

Maybe it comes down to personality.  I think the guy will because, well, I would.  Then again, I am type A.  When I set my mind to something, I typically do it.  I find out how to do it if I don't already know or find a person to help me do it, etc.  With this, I think I personally have to be careful because I could easily take things into my own hands when I really want the guy to take the lead at the start.  However, I'm not sure how much personality plays into it since I feel a lot of people go after what they want.

Still, I feel like all I can do sometimes, as the girl, is show the guy that I like him in the ways I know, which are typically gifts, words, and time since those are my love languages (whole other conversation, I know).  Sometimes, though, it seems like I do everything but flat out tell him, "I like you. Do you even care?"  Still, again, I have done such a thing in my life and it seems to go nowhere.  Each time I just get this, "aw, that's cute" response as if he's patting me on the head.  Doesn't care. 

As a guy friend once said, so I'm not afraid to say it, "guys are stupid."  This is another, possibly plausible, theory.  Yet, I don't like to put people down, so I'm going to try to disregard it. 

Speaking of, I think I'm going to put this whole theory to rest: God's got a plan for me in all aspects of life, and I think the guy He has for me will blow me away. 

Experiences or words of wisdom still appreciated!