The Power of a Question

I ask a lot of questions or at least try to do so.  I'm wired that way; I'm naturally curious. 

Honestly, I think I'm annoying a person a lot of the time with all of them!  Then I have to assure myself that 1) hopefully I'll sense a true annoyance and stop before it becomes a gigantic blowup and 2) the worst that can surely happen is the person can choose to say no or flat out not answer me. 

So far, I recall no tumultuous blowups and I've most definitely been told no as well as been ignored.  So it goes.  I'm not going to let that stop me.

Questions, especially the right ones to the right people at the right time, are very important.  They can do so much -- challenge, equip, expand, drive, inspire, curtail, thrive, brandish,  squelch, redirect, pinpoint, and much more!  Or, better yet, as one older and wiser than I once said, "Good questions inform; great questions transform."

I know, deep down, I ask questions to learn, to gain information or insight, to see another's perspective, etc. in order to better myself.  Furthermore, I ask questions to try to get others to think, to consider something they possibly hadn't, to open up and share what they possess, etc. in the hopes they are bettered as well. 

I ask silly ones, like "can you guess what I'm doing right now?" or "can you guess where I am right now?" because it's fun.  Some of the responses I've gotten to those give me the good medicine of laughter.  They've also let me hear how creative my friends really are or how well they know me (or maybe inform me I'm more predictable than I think!).

I ask hard ones.  This gets sticky some of the time.  I pray I speak in turn and, more than anything, am loving.  Because truthfully, the hard questions asked can save someone a lot of heartache.  Honestly, the question itself can be as simply stated as, "what are you doing?" wherein the hard part is actually timely saying it (what with context, tone, and relationship status) and truly listening to the response.  So, I ask because I care ...and to potentially have the person think and/or be honest with themselves.  

If I don't know something, I'll ask.  I learned to do this in high school after I fell prey to embarrassment.  One day, my teacher was talking to me about something I knew nothing about.  Over my head stuff.  He knew it.  Must have been the glazed look on my face.  "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" he said.  I shook my head no and he explained. From then on, however, I've always asked for clarification from the get-go if I don't know or understand what's going on. 

If I think I should stop asking, I will.  I learned this growing up in a most impressionable way.  My Mom was planning a surprise birthday party for me but, me being me, I wouldn't shut up and stop trying to plan something.  My Mom got so frustrated, she blurted out the whole plan.  No surprise party for me.  Lesson learned.  Now, I try not to pester people about things that are none of my business, as in my mentality is they can tell me if they want me to know.  This is hard, since I'll talk about anything, really, though I have topics I stick more closely, out of comfort or significance, and since I don't think there should be a life subject that's deemed off-limits.  Still, I go with context, relationship status (like trustworthiness), and so on before talking about certain things, trust me. 

Once I've done my asking, I have to do the listening.  At times, I'm too busy conjuring up what I want to say or ask and how I'm going to do it that I stop listening.  No bueno.  I need to have an open ear and engage with the person fully by taking in the environment and details as best as possible, not try to hear what I want or get my thought/agenda/question out there.  The time will come.  Or it won't and it will have to be okay.  But the listening part is not optional.

Now then, I'm currently listening to an audio book by John C. Maxwell about good leaders asking great questions and am becoming more aware of what questions I'd like to be asking myself as well as to others.  Here are some:

Am I investing in myself?

Am I genuinely interested in others?

What did you learn? And love? 

Did I/we add value?

How do I/we make the most of this opportunity?

What do you think?

How can I serve you?

What do I need to communicate?

Did I/we exceed expectations?

Am I investing my time with the right people?

Am I taking care of today?

Lots of food for thought!  Though, I'd be remiss to not ask you a question or two :)  What do you think about question asking?  How would you describe this post?