I'm a black and white, yes or no kind of girl. I don't like the in between, the ambiguous, or the grey area. This is especially true if it deals with romance. However, I realized some other areas in life that I've become lax on recently. I've let them slip into the space in which I unconsciously label and say, "Well, it's okay to do or not do ______ this time..."
But it's not.
You just have to call it like it is. You gotta call yourself out on your own shortcomings sometimes. And know, if someone really cares about you, they will call you out (so you are aware of what needs to change).
Really, I feel like it's more the Lord's conviction, especially as I am reading His Word. That is definitely one area that has changed. I know I should renew my mind with the Bible and I do and I'm still not perfect at it (nor will I ever be!), but it was one of those things I didn't put as a high on the priority list all the time. Of course, I know I love Jesus and he loves me. Praise God! I know I should read my Bible consistently and I try. Still, I knew I wasn't making it a "must do this every day without excuse" kinda thing like other stuff in life.
I wasn't getting out of bed, like what?, 10 minutes early so I could be in the Word. It can be as simple as that, I think. I finally put my foot down and decided that that needed to change, I needed to change. I know when I start my day out with God, it is a zillion times better. Knowing and doing are two different things, of course. So, I made the decision to make a change in this area and it has been really, really good!
This change is nothing crazy. I mean, I'm not trying to quit drugs cold turkey or anything super difficult like that. However, any schedule or behavior change is difficult at first. I just know that if I hold other people to this standard of change for self improvement or whatever but don't do it myself, I am a hypocrite. For example, I told my potential world travel buddy that I wanted to start each day with prayer. It's a practice I already try to do but I would still like to be more intentional right now, to already be practicing what I want to do. I think this concept of starting something in the present that you want to be doing in the future can be applied to anything. If you want something, you have to plan for it or schedule time for it or implement things to reach it. So, if you have a goal but aren't doing anything to reach it, rethink your life.
In a sense, I cold turkey started being way more intentional with my morning time with God. I know only good things are coming from doing so, and I've already received benefits!
Another area was my debate of getting an exercise certification and getting into shape with a legit exercise plan. I know why I haven't gotten the certificate yet and it's kind of some silly reasons, like I want all the hours to count as continuing education and I don't to take the time to study now. Like I said, kinda lame. For the exercise plan, it was really getting motivation to get back into the gym or to hire a personal trainer.
As I thought more about it, it just makes sense. I should've gotten the certificate a long time ago, probably right out of college. It's never too late, right? Plus, I already work out basically every day so I might as well lead a class and get paid for it, right?!
So, If you haven't guessed yet, I've decided to pursue it. I'll probably start with a cycling certification and then maybe a group exercise certification. I'll see where I go from there and what happens!
The exercise plan worked itself out. Don't you just love that?! I met a young lady one of the first days at my job and she has turned into a really good friend! We go to the gym basically every day together and work out specific muscle groups. It is great. We get along well, she challenges me, and I feel like we each get in a good workout. I will definitely hate to see her go but a good routine and a good friendship has been formed :)
I cold turkey decided to change things up! I think good things will come from thinking "determination defeats distraction" and just putting my foot down and going for things. Goals will be reached.
Lastly, I'm making an effort. This is an overall sort of effort, as I think can be seen from the above examples. Though, the twist comes with relationships and not getting hurt when others make no effort or giving up on someone when you don't understand.
Do you ever feel like you do a lot in relationships and the other person doesn't? I'm the type who will drive 6 hours round-trip to spend about an hour with a friend whom I haven't seen in years. Yeah, no one has ever done that for me. And yet, for whatever crazy reason, I will still do it.
I think you should just love people. I think you should treat others how you want to be treated.
Then I ran into the debacle of being a judger. Yep, that's right. I am a hard-core judger (think Myers-brig personality types). So, I run into problems and overthink things.
I literally sent this to a friend a while back:
Not everyone will have a conversion story like mine, I get it. It's still hard for me to meet people who say they believe, have a relationship with God, or whatever phrase is used, but don't live like I think they should (basically, super moral and going to church --outward things you see) or describe their faith with key words like "Jesus is Savior" "I repent(ed) of sins" "I love Jesus" etc. I wonder if they truly understand the gospel, mainly. I know God judges and sees the heart. I also know someone will be known by their fruit. It's hard not to judge or, on the other hand, to give a chance/grace but not be foolish/fooled.
Needless to say, we all have our pitfalls and ugliness. This is one of mine. And I am trying kinda cold turkey to be gracious yet discerning -- most definitely with the Lord's help.
Overall, quite a bit has changed. Not only what has already been mentioned, but other things that come to mind would be bed time and not having my phone on me during the day and bed time. I am a night owl, but I also to get up early. What. A. Drag. Enter the need for an early bed time (as I yawn while writing this). It is necessary, but the phone is not. My phone is just a distraction and was a source of slight anxiety, so why let it be? There's never an emergency and I'll return someone's message when I can, so not at all necessary to have it 24/7. Gone and glad.
Amidst all these positive changes comes a change of mindset, for sure. This is key. Likely the key. However, I believe God is really the one making the changes, whether cold turkey or not, by seeing the changes that need to happen, placing me in a position to change, and allowing me to do so by His grace.
"Praise God from whom all blessings flow..."
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