Self-Talk

I know I'm a strong person, among many other qualities and characteristics.  Yet, sometimes I don't believe it and I definitely don't say it.  I don't believe it because I just unconsciously don't; deep down I know it's true but also insist I don't need a reminder.  I don't say "I am strong" or "I am beautiful" or "I am _____" because it would be a little weird to me to say those things and, I suppose, I rely on other people to tell me.

The reality is that I may or may not be those things but I sure need to hear them.  The reality is that if I don't say it, it may not be said at all.  The reality is that I do need to say positive things because they are true and I do need a reminder to believe it.  The reality is that God has already said a lot of the things I am referring to.

Unlike some, I do think words are powerful, and, unlike many, I know that I am very much a words person.  I can clinge to positive or negative words, and when I clinge too much to the negative it is not pretty.

Lately, I have been thinking about self-talk because I've heard that a person can be very influential or, rather, the most influential to one's own self.  Yes, you, can be the most influential to yourself.

I concluded my mind and thoughts can tell me lies or tell me truths.

So, I decided to tell myself truths ...while I look at myself in the mirror.  It sounds a little odd and it felt that way the first few times but now I like it and I think good is coming from it.  I chose to tell myself truths out loud, for starters.  I think that in and of itself can be very beneficial.  I went a step further to look at myself in the mirror for direct eye contact and to truly look at myself and speak the truth.

I refrain from saying things like "I will win the lottery" or other such nonsense that won't happen.  I actually just say things like:
I am loved
I am beautiful
I am funny
I am smart
I am confident
I am the righteousness of God
I am loving
I am patient
I am forgiven
I have self-control
Etc
I've noticed I'm drawn to the fruit of the Spirit and I think that's great.  Since I have the Spirit of God in me, I know what I'm saying is true.

I think saying things out loud not only helps me to believe them (for example, the "I am beautiful" or "I am loved") but, in hearing them boldly stated, it makes me want to actually be those things or be cultivating them more (for example, the "I am patient" or "I am strong" which is not a physical strength but a strength from God to endure circumstances and have the right attitude).

I wish other people would say these things to me  but sometimes they don't.  For example, I had to point out that my boss does not say many good things (praises), which actually led to attempts to give positive feedback.  However, it is visibly challenging for this person and seems to almost not want to come out, haha!  All I'm saying is that I can't rely on other people to give me what I want or think I need.  I heard a quote along the lines of, if you are messed up on the inside there's nothing anyone can ever say or do to fix you, and you will just drive them crazy.  I am messed up on the inside and, ultimately, the true fix of myself only comes from Jesus.

I don't think I'll do this mirror regimen forever but I've challenged myself to extend from roughly a week through the month of February.  The most startling thing so far is seeing how much my negative thoughts have brought me down and how many lies I have believed.  Once, I said a truth and started crying because I realized in that moment I hadn't heard those words in a long time, and I was believing the opposite, which was happening partially due to believing a lie and also partially because I hadn't heard the truth in awhile.

It's kind of crazy to think that saying something so simple out loud (only about 3 words at a time!) and literally to myself can be so freeing and good for the heart and soul.

I listened to the radio today and Lauren Daigle's hit song "You Say" came on.  It was very fitting.

"I keep fighting voices in my head that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I'm strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe"

I choose to believe the truth, what God says of me.