1) death of a loved one
2) separation or divorce
3) getting married
4) starting a new job
5) workplace stressors
6) financial problems
7) moving to a new home
8) chronic illness or injury
9) retirement
10) transitioning to adulthood
I can pretty much check 7 out of these 10 over the last 6 months. Yikes. There has been some form or fashion of all except numbers 1, 9, and 10. Although I did not endure number 1, my significant other did (and I tried to comfort), I wish number 9 was happening now, and 10 took place awhile ago but there are days I question why it had to happen (and days I conspire to undo it!).
I will admit to not handling all the stress well, at all times. Imagine that.
I just read these verses, ironically.
James 1:2-4,12
Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.
Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.
But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.
Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.
Had I read those verses before all the stressors began, it might have been a different story. Maybe. A little. I'm far from perfect. Nonetheless, they are a good reminder and encouragement now.
I definitely felt the pressure, cried, almost ran to get away ...but then got up the next day to do it all again. I'm not sure I've prayed so much; I know I've had consistent times with God before, but many recent times I was fully enveloped, focused, and engaged, which doesn't always happen to me. I also see how I will never be independent of God. So, I don't know exactly about endurance, steadfastness, and patience, but I did learn some things.
I also needed people surrounding me. I've called many a friend and family member, and I am grateful to have my guy beside me through it all. I've heard if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together. We do, and we've made it this far!
Maybe it's in my head but he seems to handle things better ...and then I load more on him. He's actually going through the same things! And possibly more of it. Of course, I pray for him, too.
I remember when life seemed a bit easier, and I could go fast. Yet, I gladly chose a relationship and will always choose him :) and, I suppose in some ways, I haven't slowed down but have tried to pull my guy along. Psst! It doesn't really work. Then throw in the stressors above (and the general expectations I had about romantic relationships, whether good or bad, realistic or not) and my life has experienced some bumps.
Just as I read and thought of verses, I read and thought of a few quotes:
"Marriage is more about work than about divine luck, more about finding someone to love than about finding someone to meet your own laundry list of personal needs."
Along the lines of: Don't worry about being "enough." Focus on being your best self [for/towards your significant other].
"If you want the benefit of having an ox, you're going to have to endure the poo that comes with it. The goal is to have a positive poo to ox ratio."
"The truth is, a successful marriage is not the result of marrying the 'right' person, feeling the 'right' emotions, thinking the 'right' thoughts, or even praying the 'right'prayers. It's about doing the 'right' things -- period."
"Why doesn't God have a special person just for you? Because He knows His principles of love, acceptance, patience, and forgiveness work, and they work all the time, every time -- no matter to whom you are married."
Whatever the stressor, I know without doubt I have my God, my guy, my family, and my friends. And I'm going to make it through and be better off for it!
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