Shut up and Color

Shut up and color.
Don't say anything. It's still in A.
Go with the flow.
Let it go.
Just play nice.

I've heard a lot of phrases like these before.  Some of them I can actually do now but it is not natural. 

I see more so now that I don't do injustices very well, whether real or imagined.  I don't exactly endure them gracefully, either.  If I did or didn't focus so much on myself, I think I might could have inched us closer to world peace!

I remember being in grade school and playing sharks and minnows.  I set my sites on the fastest kid; I was going to get him.  I was elated when I actually did!  It was slight but noticeable, reaching out my small hand in a desperate attempt to get a piece of clothing or something.  I got him right before he hit the wall to be safe, and then he turned around to face my triumphant, "I got you!" only to say he did not, in fact, get tagged.  I hit him.  "Now you're tagged," I said angrily.  Unfortunately, the teacher only saw me hit the liar in the arm and sat me in time out. 

Clearly hitting someone is not the best response to being told you are not right when you, in fact, are.  Eh, I had older brothers; I could take it.  I can say that is not my approach now nor ever after that day.

I might not have outgrown it, though.  In high school, I would insist that what I had as an answer was truly correct.  Because it was correct.  One of my favorite teachers said one day after being basically interrogated, "you still have an A."  I did care about that but I also cared about being right, if I was right (and thus getting the points).  Heck, I did it at least once in college and it worked!  That B became an A because I had the nerve to talk to the professor and  explain my thinking instead of acepting the grade I was given.

In this adult life, there are injustices and it doesn't seem to matter what I think.  I'm harshly learning to "let it go" and "shut up and color" on all sorts of levels.

I described my current status to a friend as sinking in a boat with someone you love.  You are both sinking, both in a similar bind with the same resources and desire to get out.  The problem is you have to rely on each other despite the fact they are sitting next to you in the same mess.  Another problem to see is you also need someone else to help (i.e. God).

The sinking won't last forever and I'm drifting more  and more into the "don't panic, just breathe" stage with the "look at me and repeat, 'we're going to make it'" stage coming in hot, so that's good.  Then I hope the "I see land!" part is to come, which would be terrific.

God has been there all along to help.  Do I accept the offer always?  No.  I like to hit people because I want to be right, remember?  I like to complain and think of hate letters to write, too.  "I'll give this organization a piece of my mind!!" as if that will do much of anything.  At the level I'm talking, probably not.  My grade won't change for the better... Boo.

There are a lot of things I want or want done differently.  I am not blaming myself or my significant other; I suppose I'm more upset and angry with the process/situation.  Maybe I'm just in time out, haha!

Nonetheless, I'll keep pressing on.

Philippians 3:8-14
Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),

And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.

[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]

That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].

Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.

I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.