Post-Training

Amidst the many hugs upon returning home, I heard a lot of comments:

“You have so many bruises…”

“You’re so skinny!”

“You look so buff!  Watch out for those guns.  …Man, I want you on my side”

“You look great!”

“You met the guy of your dreams, didn’t you?!”

“I can tell you’re different, changed for the better.”
"You look so tan!"

Not gonna lie, I liked all the comments. :)  However, one of the best was “Glad you’re back!  I/We missed you!”  It’s always nice to know you’re loved.

I also loved seeing some good friends right off the bat, being able to share some stories, and getting to catch up on life.

My training was like nothing else I’ve ever done.  I went through a gas chamber, performed hand-to-hand combat, rescued “patients”, flew in a Blackhawk, made hard choices, was platoon sergeant, ate a lot of food (MREs aren't too bad...), completed marches that went for miles, carried pounds of gear, woke up ridiculously early, went to bed ridiculously early, and so much more.  I’m glad I finished and finished on a high note.  I’m stronger and more confident, to say the very least.  I learned so much about myself and the Army while meeting incredible people.  I persevered but most definitely would not have made it without God, prayer, and friends.

I’m ready for whatever’s next, civilian side or Army side!  And one thing is coming next week.  Yipee!

Thunderstorms

The Midwest does one thing right: thunderstorms. 

I love ‘em!  I just love the torrential downpour, the reverberating thunderclaps, and the spectacularly bright bursts of lightning that crawl against a sky that is abnormally darkened.

I remember sneaking out of the house as a little girl to be in the midst of such a scene.  Sometimes I’d take an umbrella but most of the time I’d go without, so the rain soaked me.

Funny how I’d run into nature’s storm to smile, laugh, and dance in the rain but, when life brings a storm, I sometimes feel like I’m drowning and I’m absolutely not smiling, laughing, or dancing. 

I was recently told some pretty terrible things about myself, to my face.  Things I don't believe to be 100% true.  It was definitely one of the those “Is this real life??” or “Okay, I’m ready for you to tell me this is a joke now” moments.

Yes, I am to blame and I owned up to the things that I let slip, yet there were some deeper things going on that were not addressed and that were the reasons for the event, in my opinion. 

The showdown was meant for harm, I think, despite the lame reassurance that it was “a learning experience.”   However, the good that came from it was showing me what not to do and making me positively re-evaluate, re-adjust, and re-define things in my life. 

It hurt, for sure, but I’m stronger than I was because of it.  I knew that I could cry out to God for help in regards to the right evaluations, adjustments, and definitions.  He’s answered in more than one way, so be careful what you ask for…  He’s also graciously provided me with people to call on for prayer and encouragement along with others who popped up without warning.  All I can say is praise God, thanks for family and friends,  thank goodness for cell phones, and that…

I’m still going to enjoy a good thunderstorm in life.

Sleep Naked

Read the title.  Do it.

Happiness

I was recently asked if I was happy with my life.  I immediately said yes…with the exception that I’m not 100% happy with my job. 

Long story short, I love my co-workers and helping the patients I see, when I see them.  There in lies the problem.  They don’t show up sometimes!  In the end, I don’t feel busy, productive, or challenged. 

I can’t complain, honestly.  I love my life, and I’m genuinely happy.

While running, though, I remembered that my happiness shouldn’t hinge on some one or some thing.  Period.

My happiness should be in God, for many reasons.  He doesn’t change, He is faithful, He loves me, He has saved me because of Christ’s work on the cross, etc. etc.  So, even if I might be frustrated with my job or disappointed by someone, I still have no excuse not to be happy, if I’m getting it from the correct and best source.

Happiness is a synonym for joy, and joy is a fruit of the Spirit.  Even if my world crumbles, I still have God and He is enough.  He is my source of joy.

What’s yours?

Turn It Up!

Usually when I travel I miss something, which is usually Smuckers crunchy peanut butter, and someone, which is usually my family, but the trip to Guatemala proved different.  I surprisingly didn’t miss anyone.  I did, however, really miss one thing:  music!

For whatever reason, I stopped to think about anything I had missed over the week and listening to music definitely made my number one.  It was odd how little music I heard over the week, so I got super excited whenever I heard some, haha!  And basically the first thing I did upon returning to the States was check out some music recommendations a friend had given me.  It also seemed especially odd to have not listened to hardly any music when I thought about how often I do listen to music.

Most days I play classical music in my office and then I turn on the radio for my short drive home.   As soon as I set my stuff down at home, I flip on my music.  I just have my ipod ready to go on shuffle mode :)  Then, of course, there are times I play it from my phone when I’m cooking  to use the radio for more variety.  The only time I don’t have music going, it seems, is when I’m running or when I’m driving to work.

Music is actually pretty powerful and can affect your mood and your thinking.  I’ve heard stories from people about this and, to a degree, have seen it in my own life.  I mean, a song may have a sick beat but then you listen more closely to the words and get seriously disturbed.  Delete!  Or you pay attention to the words and realize there’s a spectacular message in them, which is the best.  You have to realize that music is a form of art and the artist is trying to get a message across, so I think it is wise to be choosy on what you let into your head and heart.

That being said, I do like all genres of music except two, yet I listen to only a handful on a regular basis.  I listen to worship probably the most.  Lately, I’ve been waking up to a worship song in my head, which is a new thing for me but a thing I love!  I also love to get music recommendations to broaden my musical horizons, whether in a genre I don’t listen to a ton or by a musician I’ve never heard of.  Flashback to the mentioned friend giving me music recs to check out when back from Guatemala…   Plus, I wouldn’t have ever found who I think is the best pianist without asking a guy who he was listening to nor would I have ever learned of the best Christmas album without my brother’s suggestion to buy it. 

Another thing I noticed by not having music playing was that I hardly ever danced!  That’s almost depressing.  I love to dance and seem to move whenever I hear music but that’s another story. 

Bottom line:  I need music, and I’m always up for new stuff.