Integrity

I scream!  You scream!  We all scream for.....

Integrity!!  Right?  

No??  Why not?

I think we as a society strive for so many great things and characteristics but integrity doesn't always make the list. 

According to the dictionary, integrity is defined as

1) adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

2) The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.

While listening to a sermon, the pastor said integrity was "consistent truthfulness in all situations."  I like both definitions.  Though, I liked the sermon simply for the reason that for quite some time now I have been trying to pinpoint my thought or word exactly on the issue of inconsistency in people.  All I could think of was there are so many inconsistent people in numerous settings.  Then when he spoke about integrity, I could agree that that was a more appropriate label. 

But what really got me was him saying integrity must be kept up, it is a gift, and people are not overly concerned about losing it. 

For myself, I don't exactly struggle with integrity issues, thankfully.  I'm open and honest (or at least definitely strive hard to be!) and that's a huge part of integrity, in my opinion.  I try hard to make sure my yes is a yes and my no is a no.  I like things to be clear and unambiguous, so might jump the gun on things and not let them play out (but that's another blog post!).  I also don't volunteer information but if you ask me a question, I will honestly answer you.  These are ways I maintain integrity. 

There are several examples from life I could put here.  A couple that come to mind are online dating and a question a guy friend asked.  I think I don't like online dating because you have to assume people are talking to multiple people at once.  Ugh.  First, this goes against my thinking that you should be with one person and/or being honest about who you're talking to.  Second, there's too many choices so some people keep looking and looking and looking for a "better" option, which is a whole other problem (and blog topic).  Third, I'd much, much rather talk to and get to know just one guy, the guy I actually really like, and not waste time on others.  Anyway, this "dating" situation makes me uneasy, though maybe it's me and it just takes time (to get off a site/app, ha!).  Then there was my guy friend who asked my age range for dating.  It went with the conversation at hand so wasn't totally out of the blue, but I hesitated a tiny bit before answering.  I even told him I hardly tell my girlfriends what he wanted to know!  But he asked, so I answered.  No harm done and he's likely forgotten anyway!

So, some situations and questions I've encountered made me feel uneasy or awkward or worse, but stating the need-to-knows and most definitely the TRUTH is always the best choice no matter what.  Yes, no matter what.  

It can be hard, yet this makes or breaks trust, which is the cornerstone of any relationship.  Keeping the other person in my life is what I want, even if I have to become humbled, embarrassed, forgiven for pride, or more to do so. 

I will say that not doing stuff that could or would cause loss of integrity or embarrassment is also very key.  If you don't lie, cheat, backstab or the like, or put yourself in situations where you might, then you're going to do yourself wonders in helping to maintain your integrity.  Put up blocks or check points if you struggle.  Treat others how you want to be treated.  Most important, listen to God and the people you trust.  God does have and those you love should have your best interest at heart. 

Interestingly, integrity actually came up as my number one strength in a fairly recent strengths and weaknesses test.  I wasn't surprised, on the one hand, because I consider myself a moral, honest, and consistent person, but I thought it was lame.  However, I don't really think that anymore, seeing its influence in so much of my day-to-day life by how I view other people and interact with them.  And now, from the sermon, I can understand why people do struggle with keeping theirs.  Though, I am absolutely nowhere near perfect in this area, much less any other!  So, I'm still right there with ya.  As the pastor said, "integrity doesn't require perfection but it does require commitment and consistency."

I've come to grips that some people are consistent in ways I dislike.  For instance, I have a few dear friends who will not text back in a timely manner.  Response time is erratic, typically taking a day.  More times than not, they get back to me but they're consistent on being late, in my opinion.  Ha!  Then there are the friends on the opposite side of the spectrum, which I much more appreciate.  They reply very promptly, typically within minutes.  Of course, I have those who fall in between and then still those who are one and then the other (i.e. very responsive and then fall off the face of the earth).  Honestly, I think doing so is exhausting and being consistent is much less exhausting.

Speaking of being exhausted, it will happen if you've lost integrity.  The pastor stated, "It never crosses your mind that 'if I do this then I will lose fill in the blank.'  No one puts in the blank integrity!  You may say, 'if I say or do this then I'll lose my marriage or my popularity or my whatever' but it's never 'I may lose my integrity.'"  And yet, we do.  Keep it though, and we have an incredible gift to give to others and/or pass on to family. 

To help avoid the bad, know and think on this: 

"Integrity vulnerability is if you overvalue other people's opinions OR if you undervalue the full truth OR if you overestimate what you can control on your own OR if you underestimate the consequences."