I Just Don't Wanna

When was the last time you had to do something you didn't want to do?

If you're anything like me, it was probably just a few hours ago!

I was in my nice warm apartment, had just gotten out of my nice warm shower, and was getting into my nice warm PJs.  Yet I knew I should get out in the cold to take the trash out.

Obviously, I did not want to do it.  It wouldn't take too long but I did not want to be inconvenienced or be taken away from my warmth and comfort.

Sound familiar?  Well, what if I added another layer?  What if, on top of the fact that you didn't want to do some act, you were doing it for someone else? 

Yep, I was taking out the trash for my fiance, so had to trek outside and then drive to the house.

Eventually I was convicted by the verse that you should put others above yourself:  "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:3-4‬ ‭

I see a lot of my selfishness these days, likely because I'm in a relationship.  It's not awesome to see the not-so-pretty side of yourself.  But if I didn't, I wouldn't have the need for Jesus to save me from my sins, whether selfishness, pride, unbelief, lack of self control, worry, or the flavor of the day.

I was taking out the trash and being inconvenienced for my guy.  This is not the first time nor will it be the last time.  I pray my attitude will be different next time, though.  I pray I would be more grateful that I get to serve him and do it in joy.

I also thought of the of the fact that vindication comes from God.  Let me add another layer by asking, what if you didn't get the same in return? What if the other person wouldn't be inconvenienced for you?

This may happen.  Just because you do something nice for someone doesn't mean they're going to do something nice in return.  Yet, as Christian, I am called to the above verse, to look to others interests.

True confession that the thought I wouldn't be "paid back" crossed my mind.  I thought, "What if he just takes my inconvenience for granted, my serving him for granted and does not do the same for me?"  Don't get me wrong... He doesn't purposely smite me, ha!  But reality is that his selfishness has happened and it will happen again, just like mine.

However, that is not a reason to not serve another person or to not show them love, especially the love of Christ.  Honestly, I had to pray about my thoughts and my attitude.  I also had to forgive him for the incident that crossed my mind, where I felt slighted, and try to think the best of him.

No one is flawless.  I'm working on mine everyday by and with God's grace.  I'm thankful for His guidance and His mercy, and the Holy Spirit for bringing the not-so-pretty stuff to light  to be purged in order to be more Christ-like. 

It is a process and at times painful, but I'm not alone and it is worth it!