DO THIS (The Price is Right)

Sometimes in life, I don’t want so many choices.  It’s good to have options  …at least that’s what I hear.  Lately though, I need less.  A sign clearly telling me to DO THIS wouldn’t hurt either.

Seriously!  I know I can’t make a “bad” choice.   Choosing between moving to another city, moving to another state, moving for a job to get my foot in the door, searching for a job I’m excited about, going back to school, etc. are good things.  Still, too many choices, despite making some cuts, without having super clear direction is annoying.

It’s just me and God.  It’s not like I have someone else to take some choices away, like it would be easier to stay somewhere if there was a guy to make it worth-while.  It’s not like I have a spectacular job waiting for me to make me stay in one place, like it would be easier to stay if there was that kind of job.  However, it’s not like I’m having to choose between having a pizza or a burger, as if one is better than the other.  Those are both good choices – I’m literally thinking of the Mediterranean pizza from Papa Murphy’s and the Chaca Oaxaca burger from Rodeo Goat.  I can eat either in record time, most definitely the burger.  No joke.

Recently the thought that, at times, life can feel like The Price is Right flashed across my mind.  Don’t ask about my thought process, just think about it.  I want to know what the heck to do with my life to be lit up like the product when you’re within the correct amount of the price.  I don’t want to feel anxious or like it’s random to get the jackpot after ping-ponging down the pegs as the token does in Plinko -- though, for whatever reason, that is one of my most favorite games.  I want to hear “a new car!” but also, it wouldn’t bother me one bit to hear “a dream job!” or “a dream guy!”  I want to spin the giant wheel and get the dollar because the dollar means I got it “right” and, of course, I’m going to the Showcase.  I want my name to be called so I can run down the aisle in sheer joy to the next adventure, hopefully filled with wonderful prizes. 

Maybe that’s why it’s a game for tv… It’s not real life and only a few actually get to play the game. 

News flash: Life is not a game.

Life is full of choices and they are all ways to help me grow, learn, and be dependent on God.  Life isn’t a straight path but, rather, one with turns and rough terrain, which ultimately get me to the destination.

Once I wished I could see where I’d be in 1, 3, or 5 years, just to see what I was doing career-wise, see if I were dating/married, see where my friends and family were, see where in the world I was, etc.  Then I decided quickly there after that I wouldn’t want to know, because then I’d be wishing those 1, 3, or 5 years away so that I could be where I saw myself.  I’d miss everything in the meantime.  And who knows what would be missed!

No, I want to be fully present in the present.  Thus, my only new year’s resolution (because I think they’re silly) is to take things one day at a time.  Simple, possibly cliché, but hard.

I still plan trips (duh!) and have forward thinking, of course.  But, with my current time off, I have a daily to-do list to help myself out.  Even still, some of these upcoming days will simply be to help my friend out and I have no idea what she’ll need me to do, honestly!  Life is still a mystery, and I’m trying to enjoy it.

Furthermore, to do so, I’ve reminded myself of what I want to do and should do, such as pray.  For instance, I tell friends, “I should pray.”  It’s true and sort of self-talk while also being a reminder for myself as much as it is an encouragement and/or challenge to the friend to do it as well.  I mean, praying is just talking to God, of which I need to do daily because He has answers.  

The answer isn’t a game in The Price is Right and it’s usually not a DO THIS sign, but it is a feeling of peace, contentment, rest… knowing He has a plan, knowing He is most glorified when I am most satisfied in Him, knowing He knows what I desire yet what I need, knowing He is faithful, knowing He can and will strengthen my unbelief, knowing I can delight myself in God, knowing He is enough, knowing I can trust Him, and more.

The Power of Words

I realize a picture is worth 1000 words, which is probably why I like Instagram so much, but even the most simple sentence can have a profound impact. 

Words can heal or they can tear down; they can bring people together or are they can make the gap wider. There are no take backs, only apologies to try and smooth over hurt feelings. Choose wisely.

Now then, this past contract job has been the most difficult time for different reasons. Even though there was a lot of good that came from it, I decided to write things down to get me through the midst of it. I wrote phrases and whatnot on Post-it notes and stuck them to my door frame. They came from the Bible, a book I read, sermons I heard, my own thoughts, etc. Might be the first time I've really done anything like that but it was very helpful. 

I realize some things will be only for me but I still think someone could benefit from them too. So, I'll share some with you...

"Lord, I am willing to --

receive what you give 

lack what you withhold 

relinquish what you take."

"Jesus for me always clinches the deal, and I sometimes wonder why I did not listen to him in the first place."

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the LORD, is everlasting strength."

"Thank you, heavenly father, for giving me the skill, ability, and health to do my work today."

"Life isn't better because of this person or that thing. Life is better because of Christ."

"God, help me to not lose focus. Love, Me"

"God is infinitely valuable and all satisfying."

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit."

"But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation."

"Her eyes sparkled brightly and she answered with a laugh as friendly as the mailman's ring when you know there's a letter for you."

"… But it's completely accurate, and as long as the answers right, who cares if the question is wrong? If you want sense, you'll have to make it yourself."

"So many things are possible just so long as you don't know they're impossible."

"Most people do not see things as they ARE; rather, they see things as THEY are."

"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind."

"Spiritually speaking, there are no dead ends."

"Love what you have -- right now."

"Daily life now requires prayer and discernment more than knee-jerk responses towards either the conservative or liberal end of the spectrum."

"God, help my unbelief."

"Read your Bible, pray every day, and you'll grow grow grow!

"How happy are they who can resign all to him, see his hand in every dispensation, and believe that he chooses better for them then they possibly could for themselves."

"STOP. Look for the good!"

"There is a God-size hole in all of us, waiting to be filled."

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

"God, I accept your agenda for this situation, whatever that may be."

"I love you, my child. I love you. -God"

Contagious

I read a book called "Falling Upward" by Richard Rohr given to me by a friend, who stated it was a life-changing book and given to him at a time of transition in life.  I finished it by the time I arrived in Iowa.  I read a book called "Love Does" given to me technically by my Mom, who had it on her dining room table when I went home for Christmas.  I finished it today as I'm about to leave Iowa.  Perfect, perfect, perfect timing for both! 

The first book challenged me to think outside of the box and to evaluate two halves of life.  I went through a very rough spot while here in Iowa and, a few weeks ago, reread some of that book.  To my astonishment, it was as if I was reading what just happened in my life.  I couldn't believe that I hadn't fully picked up on it while reading it the first time, but, then again, I think that's kind of the point.  It's not as if reading the book and fully comprehending what I was reading would have helped me avoid what happened.  I wouldn't wish to have missed that heartache, honest.  I had to go through it to make it real for me.  I had to fall in order to see my need for God.

I like this snippet from the book:

"The first task, which the hero or heroine thinks is the only task, is only the vehicle and warm-up act to get him or her to the real task.  He or she "falls through" what is merely his or her life situation to discover his or her Real Life which is always a much deeper river, hidden beneath the appearances.  Most people confuse their life situation with their actual life, which is an underlying flow beneath the every day events.  This deeper discovery is largely what religious people mean by "finding their soul."

Another: 

"St. Francis, who did not concentrate on attacking evil or others, but just spent his life falling, and falling many times into the good, the true, and the beautiful.  It was the only way he knew how to fall into God."

The second book is exactly what I wish my life to be, along with my blog posts :)  Each chapter is a small story with an outstanding lesson in a man's well lived life, which points to God.  For instance, the prelude to chapter 7 is "I used to think Jesus motivated us with ultimatums, but now I know He pursues us in love."  

I cried.  I laughed a lot.  I thought and reflected.  I decided I want to do the same as the author. 

In the forward is the following:

"Bob Goff loves people with a force that is natural, and by natural I mean like nature, like a waterfall or wind or waves on the ocean.  He loves effortlessly, as though love packs annually in snow on the mountain, melting and rushing through him in an infinite loop.  There's no explanation for a man who can love this well save God.  I think Bob Goff knows God, and I think God's love flows through him." 

The overall theme of the book is that love does; Love does things.  From letting a complete stranger propose on his boat after a dinner on his back porch to sending an outlandish amount of flowers to a sweet old lady who ejected him from his Jeep after hitting him on the road to becoming a Consul for Uganda to encouraging his kids to be friends with world leaders to igniting a young person for a life changing role to people and words that will never be forgotten to fist fights and beyond.  What seems like the ordinary becomes a beautiful story of God's love at work, love in action.  

The author talks about not having a plan and that's where I feel I am in life, yet he thinks that's the best place to be in order to see God's bigger and better plan than I could ever imagine unfold.  This and something my Dad said while I was at home just put me at peace.  In short, my Dad said it was more than okay to not be where others think you should be, to not have what others think you should have, but rather, to live the life that God has set before you. 

I realize I have an atypical life and I'm okay with it.  I mean, having a dance party to my music can't always go down like it did tonight.  Yeah, that happened.  And amidst the fun and crazy, I want to continue to take advantage of the time that I have right now to do something I love, to see the country and world, to grow stronger both personally and professionally, to meet people along the way, to share the love that I have whether or not people know how to accept it, and see what God does. 

So, changing my attitude to reflect this truth has given me a lot of joy!  I'm choosing to see things differently, in a good way.  It's exciting!  When I get excited and when I'm happy, I get chatty and I just want to share!  It may come out in different ways towards different people but I honestly hope that it comes out as genuine, kind, compassionate, faithful, good, and more.  I hope it's as the book says, "if you are a sincere friend, folks around you will quickly understand that there's no hidden agenda and nothing on the other side of the equals sign -- just you."

 

Finding your Real Life is good. 

Falling is good. 

God is good. 

Joy is contagious.  

Passion is contagious. 

God's love is contagious. 

Sweat is Fat Crying

The fitness center here has been one of the best things to happen!  It's seriously saved me and helps me practice what I preach/keep the body God gave me going!  

I've definitely become a gym rat because... what else is there to do!  So, it's obviously where I get a challenging workout but also the place where I've met the majority of my friends, which is ironic since I usually don't talk to people while I'm working out nor do I even like working out with people unless it's in a class.  Now I like it. 

I'm usually "in the zone" and people are afraid to talk to me, actually.  Whoops!  I'm just focused and on a mission!  Probably looked like that yesterday and today, both of which I really just needed the gym time to be distracted from life -- the unknown in it, the decisions that loom, the disappointments, and even the enjoyments.  I just need a break from it all and working out helps.

Praying definitely helps, too, as does talking to fellow workout partners, even just for a short time.  I mean, one lady thinks I'm smart and wants me to date her son, so that's flattering :)  We talk about diet and nutrition, which is another thing I like about the fitness center environment -- more people are motivated to be healthy and are actually interested in what I have to say about nutrition. 

Anyway, working out in the class setting also allows me to be able to listen to other's stories.  I think of the woman who moved to Iowa from California, bless her heart, because she was in foster care and now, long story short, she has had nine kids and looks absolutely amazing!  She's been working out and changed her diet drastically.  I like hearing those types of stories a lot.  

I've also learned about the awesome instructor's lives as well. One of whom lived in Texas for a time so can relate to me!  Another gives me and others a hard time and does a good, "fun" workout "that's going to suck" while also getting himself into trouble…  Haha!  See below. 

Too be sure not every class or gym time is as chatty, but then again, the swim aerobics class I attend is basically a social hour for some.  The ladies gab and I do join in sometimes, yet I want to get a good workout in and I sometimes have things to do afterwards, so I don't like to just play around.  And heaven help me if I start being a cougar like the older lady I saw last night!!  It made the class pretty hilarious lemme tell ya.  I laughed during class and then a lot afterwards when I told the guy instructor, who was clueless.  Oh, man...  Watch out. 

Back to working out.  If I'm not good and sweaty by the end of my workout, then it doesn't count in my book.  Usually not a problem, ha!  But seriously, I know it just depends on the workout.  I feel incredible after almost every yoga class and just break a baby sweat, while I'm sometimes drenched after HIIT and know I'll be sore the next day.  I like it all. 

I've tried out several classes and had forgotten how much I like the camaraderie, the instructor pushing you and encouraging you, and the good feeling after a fantastic workout.  So good.  

I think I'll push myself when I do my own thing but it's not the same.  Then there's the fact, like I said, that I've been able to make friends.  It's especially nice when they all think you're about 23 years old -- may I always look younger than I am!  :)  But really, it's as if we like dying at each workout so if someone else is just as crazy to keep coming back then bam! insta-friend!

Every little thing brings back memories of when I was in college getting my health and exercise science degree.  Definitely enjoyed getting that degree at OU so much and wouldn't change it, and even thought about working as a fitness instructor.   

For now, though, I'll just continue to be thankful for such a great facility with wonderful people in it, and hope that my next job will leave me as fortunate.

The List

Every. Single. Year. The dreaded Christmas list makes its appearance.

The list of people to buy for really doesn't change, actually I've added one with my nephew coming into the world, but really, no changes in a lot of years.  So, even though the people don't change, I can't get them the same thing year after year.  Well, I could and I do for some but that's beside the point. 

I used to stress about getting everyone just the right gift, something they would enjoy and really like.  That stress, I think, was, in part, due to leaving my shopping until the absolute last minute.  Now I don't do either.

I've decided to start my shopping early like October time, though I also buy little things throughout the year if I see something and it reminds me of someone.  Honestly, I started doing that for my Mom and it's been the best!  Now, just remembering where I put the darn thing when Christmas time does roll around... 

Even as I write this, I have all my presents nicely in a row, all ready to go!  To be sure, I still have a couple gifts to get because they require a purchase in a state I'm not in but still!  Oh, happy day when everything was done and all the gift buying checked off!  Happier day was wrapping all the gifts as I thought about each person and the fact that I liked what I was giving :) 

I think the hardest people to buy for our my Dad and my Grandparents, though.  I feel like Grandparents are obvious because they have everything they could possibly need and then some, and you know everyone in the family is buying something for them so you're hard-pressed.  As for my Dad, it's just the same old story.

This actually happened.  I am not lying.  I don't lie.  Period.  Besides, you just can't make this up!

Me:  Dad, I need a Christmas list from you please!

Dad:  A plunger and an electric toothbrush.

Me:  Are you serious?!  No.  I'm not getting you a plunger. 

Me to Mom (so we both don't get him the same gift):  Are you getting Dad an electric toothbrush?

Mom:  No, it won't fit in the bathroom.

Me:  Are you serious?! The man asked for two things and you're denying me getting him one, and I'm not getting him a plunger!  Ugh. 

Classic Dad.  Asking for stuff he needs (and that costs like nothing) but never going beyond to tell us what he actually wants, like something he wouldn't buy himself ordinarily.  I did come at him with that angle but to no avail.  So, guess what he got?  

Anyway, because I'm deciding not to stress about "the perfect gift" and since I started shopping well before the week before Christmas, I'm actually enjoying Christmas a lot more.  I love the lights, the decorations, and the time with friends and family.  And most definitely the music!

This song by Jason Gray came on and I thought it perfect.  Because really, Christmas is coming yet again, and it's important to reflect on why we celebrate Christmas in the first place, which is Christ's birth -- the Messiah coming into the world!

Here is a YouTube link if you want to actually hear the song:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BbtEYUmirBE

Here are some of the lyrics:

"Christmas is coming, the bells are ringing

Hope comes alive as music fills the air

Some say Christmas is for children and I believe it's true

Can you hear the season calling to the child inside of you?

Awaken from your slumber see with younger eyes

And be taken by the wonder that took the whole world by surprise!

Prepare ye the way

For God's own baby boy

Born to mend all broken things

And to heal the world with joy

He will heal the world with joy!

I don't want you to miss it, I know I have before 

Like the innkeeper who missed the wonder right outside his door

So open up your heart as Christmas passes through

Just in time to wake the child asleep inside of you."